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Writing Samples
Band 4

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #team #sports #school
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In recent years, teamwork
plays
Wrong verb form
has played
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 a vital role in
schools
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 and organisations. Researchers argue the fact that
students
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 should learn about collaboration by playing
games
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 in
schools
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. I partially agree with the statement, and I will provide the substantiated arguments in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence, physical
activities
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 done in
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group
Add an article
the group
a group
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brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
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 team spirit. To put it another way, teachers should encourage the pupils
in making
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to make
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 teams to do sports
activities
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 as it builds the confidence of
students
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, playing together would reduce conflicts and
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 in spreading love and harmony in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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. As an illustration,
games
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such
Linking Words
 as football and hockey are often played in groups.
Such
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games
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 help in bringing peace
in
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to
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society
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. In fact,
games
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 unite the different religions and
brings
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bring
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 happiness
in
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to
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 the communities.
Furthermore
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, strength and endurance help in uplifting the
group
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.
On the contrary
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,
schools
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 should make academic groups and perform other cultural
activities
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 to bring collaboration in
the
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apply
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society
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.
In other words
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, teachers should give team assignments
such
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 as
group
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 presentations to encourage pupils
in cooperating
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to cooperate
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. Indeed,
such
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activities
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 would be helpful for children who
lacks
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lack
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 interest in sports
activities
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.
Also
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,
such
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 projects would foster the learning process using practical knowledge.
In addition
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,
schools
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 should organize cultural programs.
For instance
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,
group
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 dance, bhangra and would encourage the
students
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 to work in groups.
Therefore
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, it would integrate different cultures
in
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into
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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.
To conclude
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,
although
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 sports
activities
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 help in cooperating, teachers should focus on other academic
group
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 projects to unite
students
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 in the
schools
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.
Therefore
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,
such
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 initiatives would bring harmony
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between the people.
Submitted by tanvirkaur461 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • values
  • applied
  • aspects
  • belonging
  • camaraderie
  • participating
  • essential
  • social skills
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