Climate change is a phenomenon that affects countries all over the world. Many people strongly believe that it is the responsibility of individuals, rather than corporations and governments, to deal with this problem. To what extent do you agree?

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In recent years, global warming has become a worldwide concern. Some
people
argue that individuals should take more responsibility in tackling
this
problem compared to governments and corporations. I strongly disagree with
this
statement and
this
essay will discuss
this
phenomenon in more detail. It is evident that each of us should take part in creating a solution to environmental issues. To be able to contribute positively to
this
matter, it is important to have knowledge of the effects of our actions.
For example
, doing waste management may seem to be extra work for our chores. Unaware of the consequences,
people
tend to take a shortcut as they decide to throw everything in one bin. Little did they know, that their action could contribute badly to our environment as it will be piled up in landfill and contributes to climate
change
. These issues need to be raised to help
people
have a better understanding of the importance of changing their
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
and habits. Having
this
knowledge, individuals are expected to commit to making better choices and living a sustainable lifestyle.
However
, the actions of residents alone are not enough to be the sole solution to
this
global concern. The government's role is
also
needed as they could strategize to create an impact on a larger scale. First of all, they could develop rules regarding
this
matter
such
as educating
people
about the importance of waste management and monitoring them in implementing it. With these regulations,
people
are encouraged to be part of the
change
and work together to delay the rise of temperature.
In addition
, governments could collaborate with corporations to take more positive actions towards the environment. Together, they could provide public service buildings using solar panels as the source of energy. Subsidizing electric cars to encourage drivers to choose a better option for air quality is
also
one of the ways to delay climate
change
. In conclusion, there is a positive impact from living a sustainable lifestyle.
However
,
this
action from certain individuals alone is not enough to solve
this
global problem. Collaboration from bigger parties
such
as governments and corporations could have a greater impact as they are able to target and encourage more
people
to be part of the
change
.
Submitted by a.wangsaatmaja on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay has an organized logical structure, it could benefit from clearer topic sentences for each paragraph, and more effective use of cohesive devices to guide the reader from one idea to the next.
introduction conclusion present
Try to expand on your introduction and conclusion, ensuring that they encompass the full spectrum of your argument and reiterate your thesis clearly. This will strengthen the reader's understanding of your main points.
supported main points
Support your main points with more detailed examples and ensure that these examples are specifically linked to the central argument about the role of individuals, governments, and corporations in addressing climate change.
complete response
Your essay responds to the prompt, but to fully satisfy the task requirements, your response must provide a more developed argument. Explain the limitations and capabilities of each group (individuals, governments, corporations) in more depth.
clear comprehensive ideas
Provide a more comprehensive discussion of the ideas by expanding on their implications, potential challenges, and the interconnected roles of individuals, governments, and corporations. Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to substantiate your arguments. Examples should be factual, varied, and directly supportive of the points you make regarding climate change responsibilities.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • phenomenon
  • responsibility
  • address
  • crucial role
  • impact
  • collaboration
  • carbon footprint
  • regulations
  • policies
  • incentivize
  • act responsibly
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