Some people believe that the government should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion?

#people #government #care #support #individuals #years #fund #retirement

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The world is segregated into different categories of the

nation

Use synonyms

as per their financial status, in

such

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a scenario, it is widely believed that it is the responsibility of the government to take care of older age people and help with financial support when they retire. Others think that it is the duty of every

person

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to save funds for their future life while they are working. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both perspectives and give my logical opinion in conclusion.

To begin

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with, an analysis of the former group reveals that the government should give a grant from the

nation

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's budget to every elderly

person

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. To elaborate on

this

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, in

this

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developed world, the cost of necessary things is too high and golden-ager could not work at

this

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age.

Furthermore

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, the authorities

also

Linking Words

provide medical treatment facilities to them.

For instance

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, if the pension for a retired

person

Use synonyms

is granted by the authorities,

hence

Linking Words

they could fulfil basic requirements without taking the help of anyone.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, the latter group suggest that every individual should save

money

Use synonyms

in working life. To explain

this

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although

Linking Words

people save some amount of

money

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, the administrators might not provide funds from the country's budget which may be used for the

nation

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's development

such

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as in the education sector and basic amenities.

Consequently

Linking Words

, the GDP of the region may increase and every citizen of the country could live in a sense of peace. To conclude that giving pension as an amount of

money

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to old individuals is good, but to save

money

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in working life it is the responsibility of every

person

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for the development of a

nation

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thus

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I accord with the latter group.

Submitted by barotharakh on Sat Aug 06 2022

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial support
retirement
government intervention
contribute to society
financial independence
safety net
personal responsibility
self-reliance
financial education
incentives
individual circumstances
sustainable

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