The use of mobile phones should be banned in public spaces as libraries, transportations and shpos. To what extant do agree or disagree?

modern era, the mobile phone is a basic necessity for every individual. But some masses say that
Fix the agreement mistake

It seems that telephone may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
are prohibited in public spots. Here I am agreed with
situation my statement and my arguments will be briefly described in an upcoming paragraph with a crystal clear conclusion. To commence with, a large no of the community says that mobile devices should ban in public
like libraries, shops and transportation. To elaborate, many
Change to a plural noun

The singular countable noun folk follows the quantifier many, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

show examples
go to libraries for a peaceful environment because they can study properly there without any distractions libraries alwmaintainning silence but sometimes a few irresponsible persons are using mob in that place which disturbed others.
For instance
, I remember
month I visited the library there one person is getting phone calls continuously he was attending all call public listening to him and feel
Correct your spelling

The word te doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
, in public transport majority of
Add an article
the population

The noun phrase population seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
use a smartphone while travelling to their destination for work in that by tym, some society
Change the verb form

The plural verb click does not appear to agree with the singular subject some society. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
a photo or record videos and Spoiled their peace of mind.
the phones should restrict in public spots.
, another big proportion against
statement that an applying a ban on cell phones in social
. In the other words, phones are most important for everyone because 80% of all nation business by their smartphone in some
booths are available but in few
both there are no
both nearby in
situation faces a lot of difficulties To sum up, folks should aware to know where to use dial and where not yet, they do not try to disturb others and their attention.
Submitted by workhasdone on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Check IELTS Writing Task 1 and Task 2 Online
After you write your essay, you will be provided with tips with examples of how to make your essay better in order to get a score above 7.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Check IELTS Writing Task 1 and Task 2 Online
Writing9 scans your text for all types of mistakes, from typos to sentence structure problems and beyond.