IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The use of mobile phones should be banned in public spaces as libraries, transportations and shpos. To what extant do agree or disagree?

In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, the mobile phone is a basic necessity for every individual. But some masses say that
Use synonyms
telephone
Fix the agreement mistake
telephones
show examples
 are prohibited in public spots. Here I am agreed with
this
Linking Words
 situation my statement and my arguments will be briefly described in an upcoming paragraph with a crystal clear conclusion. To commence with, a large no of the community says that mobile devices should ban in public
places
Use synonyms
 like libraries, shops and transportation. To elaborate, many
folk
Change to a plural noun
folks
show examples
 go to libraries for a peaceful environment because they can study properly there without any distractions libraries alwmaintainning silence but sometimes a few irresponsible persons are using mob in that place which disturbed others.
For instance
Linking Words
, I remember
last
Linking Words
 month I visited the library there one person is getting phone calls continuously he was attending all call public listening to him and feel
te
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 disturbance.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in public transport majority of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 use a smartphone while travelling to their destination for work in that by tym, some society
click
Change the verb form
clicks
show examples
 a photo or record videos and Spoiled their peace of mind.
Thus
Linking Words
 the phones should restrict in public spots.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another big proportion against
this
Linking Words
 statement that an applying a ban on cell phones in social
places
Use synonyms
. In the other words, phones are most important for everyone because 80% of all nation business by their smartphone in some
places
Use synonyms
 public
telephone
Use synonyms
 booths are available but in few
places
Use synonyms
,
telephone
Use synonyms
 both there are no
telephone
Use synonyms
 both nearby in
this
Linking Words
 situation faces a lot of difficulties To sum up, folks should aware to know where to use dial and where not yet, they do not try to disturb others and their attention.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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