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Band 4.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#experts #children #language #schools #school #outweigh
After completion of high
school
, young people are advised to work or travel for a
year
 before they join their university
studies
.
This
 advice has positive implications on the youths
such
 as saving
money
 and gaining experiences but there are disadvantages that their motivation level of study can reduce and there is a delay
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 career development. The core advantages of taking a gap
year
 are collecting
money
 for the
school
 fee and
explore
Wrong verb form
exploring
show examples
 more about the world.
Higher
Add an article
The higher
show examples
 level study cost more compared to
secondary
Add an article
a secondary
show examples
school
Change the noun form
schools
show examples
 like textbook fees and other learning material so students need to save
money
 ahead of the commencement of their
studies
. In
outside
Add an article
the outside
show examples
 world, there are a lot of interesting things to explore which can give life experiences.
By travelling
Change preposition
Travelling
show examples
 to different places will give these experiences for future
studies
. According to
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
 statistic, education fees in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 is increasing
7
Change preposition
by 7
show examples
% each
year
.
Although
 students can gain
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 advantages,
defer
Wrong verb form
deferring
show examples
school
 for a
year
 could
result
Add the preposition
inresult
fromresult
show examples
 delay in
future
Correct pronoun usage
their future
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 as some students are not willing to return to their study life after travelling or working for a
year
. Nowadays, it is very competitive to get a job and employers prefer candidates who are young and experienced so it can result in adverse impacts when they
apply
Add the preposition
forapply
show examples
 professional
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. In our environment, there are many youths, who gave up their
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
show examples
 and decide to satisfy with their current positions.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, taking a gap
year
 can benefit if people gain life lessons while travelling or collect enough
money
 for their
third level
Add a hyphen
third-level
show examples
studies
. But it should neither lead youths to give up their
studies
 which will lead them better future nor delay
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their careers.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Enhance
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Pronunciation
  • Mimic
  • Native-like accent
  • Cultural awareness
  • Sensitivity
  • Exposure
  • Resource allocation
  • Qualified
  • Effective instruction
  • Overwhelmed
  • Curriculum
  • Undermining
  • Mother tongue
  • Prioritizing
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