Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with their academic subjects at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Acquisition of
skills
is necessary
in
Change the preposition
for

The preposition in after the adjective necessary may be incorrect. Consider changing it to another preposition.

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our daily
living
Replace the word
lives

The word living doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. It is often believed that children of
school going
Add a hyphen
school-going

It seems that school going is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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age should incorporate
learning
Add an article
the learning

The noun phrase learning seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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skills
into their regular studies . I completely agree
to
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
statement and
this
essay is going to explain more
on
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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my viewpoint.
To begin
with, learning
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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new
skills
is essential as it will help broaden the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'

It appears that the word students should use the genitive case. Consider changing the noun.

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mind. Learning
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a skill involves the use of the mind and
this
helps in ways
such
as
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving

It appears that problem solving is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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, improves our way of thinking and boosts the quality of our lives as well. Most individuals with
skills
are
self reliant
Add a hyphen
self-reliant

It appears that self reliant is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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and Independent as well because they are exposed to the job market. In most
instances
Add a comma
,instances

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In most instances. Consider adding a comma.

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school children who take up some skill do well in class than their colleagues who are not trained in any other field.
Furthermore
, one can earn a living from the acquisition of new
skills
. Training of students in fields
such
as car maintenance, bead making and hairdressing reduces
Add a hyphen
over-dependence

It appears that over dependence is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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over
Correct article usage
the over

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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dependence of these children on their parents and the government at large.A
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful

The spelling of skillful is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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person can be
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed

It appears that self employed is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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and stand the chance of gaining employment in different organizations as compared to one who has no
skills
.
For example
, the finance minister of Ghana, Honorable Ken Ofori Atta, in a speech delivered to students of the University of Ghana advised them on the need to learn new
skills
and
trade
Fix the agreement mistake
trades

It seems that trade may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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such
as fashion designing and makeup as
this
will help them gain employment rather than relying on the formal sector. In conclusion,
skills
acquisition is very beneficial to every student as it helps broaden their scope of mind and make them independent as well.
Submitted by brefobhernis on

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After you write your essay, you will be provided with tips with examples of how to make your essay better in order to get a score above 7.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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