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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with their academic subjects at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Acquisition of
skills
Use synonyms
 is necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
show examples
 our daily
living
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. It is often believed that children of
school going
Add a hyphen
school-going
show examples
 age should incorporate
learning
Add an article
the learning
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
skills
Use synonyms
 into their regular studies . I completely agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement and
this
Linking Words
 essay is going to explain more
on
Change preposition
from
show examples
 my viewpoint.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, learning
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new
skills
Use synonyms
 is essential as it will help broaden the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
 mind. Learning
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a skill involves the use of the mind and
this
Linking Words
 helps in ways
such
Linking Words
 as
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
, improves our way of thinking and boosts the quality of our lives as well. Most individuals with
skills
Use synonyms
 are
self reliant
Add a hyphen
self-reliant
show examples
 and Independent as well because they are exposed to the job market. In most
instances
Add a comma
,instances
show examples
 school children who take up some skill do well in class than their colleagues who are not trained in any other field.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, one can earn a living from the acquisition of new
skills
Use synonyms
. Training of students in fields
such
Linking Words
 as car maintenance, bead making and hairdressing reduces
Add a hyphen
over-dependence
show examples
over
Correct article usage
the over
show examples
 dependence of these children on their parents and the government at large.A
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
 person can be
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
show examples
 and stand the chance of gaining employment in different organizations as compared to one who has no
skills
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the finance minister of Ghana, Honorable Ken Ofori Atta, in a speech delivered to students of the University of Ghana advised them on the need to learn new
skills
Use synonyms
 and
trade
Fix the agreement mistake
trades
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as fashion designing and makeup as
this
Linking Words
 will help them gain employment rather than relying on the formal sector. In conclusion,
skills
Use synonyms
 acquisition is very beneficial to every student as it helps broaden their scope of mind and make them independent as well.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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