IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#countries #shops #products #consider #development
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Nowadays, there are
bunch
Add an article
a bunch
show examples
 of
shops
Use synonyms
 and
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of
products
Use synonyms
 booming in various
countries
Use synonyms
. Some people might consider
this
Linking Words
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a positive development and some might consider
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
as
Correct your spelling
a
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 negative
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
. In my opinion, I vouch that it is completely a positive note. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, in
this
Linking Words
 modern era a
lot
Use synonyms
 of things are getting developed
similarly
Linking Words
 there are
shops
Use synonyms
 and
products
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
opening their branches in different
countries
Use synonyms
 which is
good
Add an article
a good
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 sign because the market is blooming on top of
this
Linking Words
 a large variety of
products
Use synonyms
 are being available to a
lot
Use synonyms
 more population. The
shops
Use synonyms
 used to
specific
Add a missing verb
be specific
show examples
 to
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 only and all the
products
Use synonyms
 were not available in all places. People started using online
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 to reach their needs, where a
lot
Use synonyms
 of people got swayed by different fake websites.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 ended up buying fake
products
Use synonyms
 as well.
For example
Linking Words
, when I was on a trip to London I pampered myself with some
skin care
Correct your spelling
skincare
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 goodies and I absolutely loved using them,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 when I wanted to refill my
products
Use synonyms
 I couldn’t find them anywhere in India. So I tried finding them online, I was completely elated and ordered them but ended up getting the fake ones. So problems like
this
Linking Words
 can be solved and it would be more convenient
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the population across the world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, to open
shops
Use synonyms
 in different
countries
Use synonyms
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of deforestation is happening and the land is conquered by the industrialists in order to construct buildings. The environment is getting spoiled leading to
Use synonyms
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of consequences.
For example
Linking Words
, I purchased a villa because it had a beautiful view of the
tress
Correct your spelling
trees
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 right next to my house and
also
Linking Words
 for proper ventilation. In
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 months all the
tress
Correct your spelling
trees
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 were cut off and a shopping mall was constructed.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
According to
Linking Words
me
Add a comma
me,
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 it is a positive development because to
reach
Verb problem
meet
show examples
 the needs of the growing population it is better to have many branches in various
different
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 as it would be accessible to residents in
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of locations.
Submitted by varsh201 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly introduces the topic and provides a clear thesis statement. Also, your conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your opinion.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address both sides of the argument in a balanced way. Provide more specific examples and elaborate on the negative impacts of the increased number of shops and products.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • homogenization
  • globalization
  • cultural identity
  • streamline
  • standardization
  • economic benefits
  • international community
  • cultural exchange
  • predictability
  • authentic experiences
  • proliferation
  • branding
  • tourism appeal
  • consumer comfort
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