Some people think that Government should take measures to improve the health of its citizens. Others think it must be managed by individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The role of medical care has become a major discussion in today's world as people's life has increased.
Although
some think that it is the
responsibility
of the government to improve the
health
of its citizens,others think that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals should take control of their physical conditions.
This
essay will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
two sides and explain why I think it should be the individual liability to maintain one's
health
. The
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
should display himself/herself actively the knowledge of
health
and how to take good care of healthiness throughout the remote areas where there is no
health
.
For example
, special tax incentives could be provided for people who meet the development goal set
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them.
Furthermore
, the resource needed to implement its policy is already available to them. Another reason is that the heads of state should establish accurate rules and regulations about the improvement of good
health
through internet
aircrafts
Correct your spelling
aircraft
show examples
like various websites.
For instance
,there are not many patients anymore because of the
health
information posts that appear online.And
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
country
Add an article
a country
show examples
can convert into a beautiful and developed one among the national enrollment lists.
Correct your spelling
Even though
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
the governments could offer encouraging plans ,the
responsibility
entirely lies with the
Correct your spelling
individuals
indivituals
Correct your spelling
individuals
.It must be more effective only if the
Correct your spelling
individuals
indivituals
Correct your spelling
individuals
can pay attention
themselves
Change preposition
to themselves
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
their interest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the governments' policies.It is their body and it’s
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
best interest
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
them to improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
health
.Individual’s
health
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
and
preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
show examples
are best known to them and cannot be categorized as a standard plan by any organization.
For instance
, people’s
preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
show examples
and
priority
Fix the agreement mistake
priorities
show examples
vary, some would need
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strict diet control, whereas others might need
physical
Add an article
a physical
show examples
activity or a nice place to walk.Since individual requirement and preferences
varies
Change the verb form
vary
show examples
it should be their
responsibility
to develop a healthy lifestyle. To conclude,in my opinion, the government can offer incentives, but cannot strictly enforce plans to improve everyone’s
health
.It should completely be the individual’s
responsibility
to improve their
health
.
Moreover
,
the
Change the word
their
show examples
need and
preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
show examples
are best known only to them.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: