Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.
Undoubtedly, studying
art
and Use synonyms
music
is an important part of developing skills, and engaging interest Use synonyms
to
education in young children. Some people believe thatChange preposition
in
,
teaching Remove the comma
apply
students
Use synonyms
art
and Use synonyms
music
, in secondary school is essential, Use synonyms
whereas
other people do not consider it important. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will discuss why all the Linking Words
students
should be required, to study Use synonyms
art
and Use synonyms
music
, Use synonyms
as well as
what benefits it may cause.
Linking Words
To begin
with, studying Linking Words
art
and Use synonyms
music
, will enhance Use synonyms
comprehension
of young Correct article usage
the comprehension
students
, and will help them to discover their inner passion for those Use synonyms
subjects
, and may reveal Use synonyms
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Add an article
a skill
the skill
skill
, which they were not aware of possessing. Fix the agreement mistake
skills
For example
, when Linking Words
student
Correct article usage
a student
start
studying Change the verb form
starts
art
, he or she, might discover inner traits and talents, Use synonyms
hence
develop them, and stick to it as a hobby, or as a source of inspiration.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, these Linking Words
subjects
Use synonyms
,
can help to engage Remove the comma
apply
students
Use synonyms
into
studying. Meanwhile, many Change preposition
in
students
find it challenging, and boring, to focus on education, Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
subjects
as Use synonyms
art
and Use synonyms
music
, can assist them, by making learning more entertaining, and captivating. Use synonyms
For instance
, if the student, is often seen Linking Words
stressed
and lost, Correct word choice
as stressed
art
and Use synonyms
music
, will distract him, from the energy-consuming, and complex lessons Use synonyms
such
as math, physics, or chemistry, and settle for 1-1,5 hours of relaxation, inspiration and Linking Words
self expressing
Add a hyphen
self-expressing
lesson
. Eventually, the student will be recharged and ready for the next lessons of the remaining Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
subjects
.
In conclusion, though Use synonyms
art
and Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
,
are not as valuable as math, chemistry, or history, theRemove the comma
apply
Submitted by leonardoinoscar on
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Task Achievement
Your introduction is clear and presents the topic, but may benefit from a more engaging hook to capture the reader's interest.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured and the main points are supported with relevant examples and explanations. Consider using transition words to improve the coherence between paragraphs.