Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

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Undoubtedly, studying
art
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and
music
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is an important part of developing skills, and engaging interest
to
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in
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education in young children. Some people believe that
,
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apply
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teaching
students
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art
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and
music
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, in secondary school is essential,
whereas
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other people do not consider it important. In
this
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essay, I will discuss why all the
students
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should be required, to study
art
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and
music
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,
as well as
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what benefits it may cause.
To begin
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with, studying
art
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and
music
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, will enhance
comprehension
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the comprehension
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of young
students
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, and will help them to discover their inner passion for those
subjects
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, and may reveal
them
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apply
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Add an article
a skill
the skill
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skill
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skills
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, which they were not aware of possessing.
For example
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, when
student
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a student
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start
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starts
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studying
art
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, he or she, might discover inner traits and talents,
hence
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develop them, and stick to it as a hobby, or as a source of inspiration.
On the other hand
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, these
subjects
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,
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apply
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can help to engage
students
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into
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in
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studying. Meanwhile, many
students
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find it challenging, and boring, to focus on education,
such
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subjects
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as
art
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and
music
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, can assist them, by making learning more entertaining, and captivating.
For instance
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, if the student, is often seen
stressed
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as stressed
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and lost,
art
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and
music
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, will distract him, from the energy-consuming, and complex lessons
such
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as math, physics, or chemistry, and settle for 1-1,5 hours of relaxation, inspiration and
self expressing
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self-expressing
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lesson
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lessons
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. Eventually, the student will be recharged and ready for the next lessons of the remaining
subjects
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. In conclusion, though
art
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and
music
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subjects
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,
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apply
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are not as valuable as math, chemistry, or history, the
Submitted by leonardoinoscar on

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Task Achievement
Your introduction is clear and presents the topic, but may benefit from a more engaging hook to capture the reader's interest.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured and the main points are supported with relevant examples and explanations. Consider using transition words to improve the coherence between paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster creativity
  • innovative thinking
  • emotional well-being
  • reduce stress
  • creative expression
  • cultural awareness
  • inclusive and diverse society
  • cognitive development
  • academic performance
  • spatial-temporal reasoning
  • language development
  • career opportunities
  • creative industries
  • contributors to the economy
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