Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Undoubtedly, studying

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

is an important part of developing skills, and engaging interest

Change preposition

show examples

education in young children. Some people believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

teaching

students

Use synonyms

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

, in secondary school is essential,

whereas

Linking Words

other people do not consider it important. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss why all the

students

Use synonyms

should be required, to study

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

what benefits it may cause.

To begin

Linking Words

with, studying

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

, will enhance

comprehension

Correct article usage

the comprehension

show examples

of young

students

Use synonyms

, and will help them to discover their inner passion for those

subjects

Use synonyms

, and may reveal

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Add an article

a skill

the skill

show examples

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

, which they were not aware of possessing.

For example

Linking Words

, when

student

Correct article usage

a student

show examples

start

Change the verb form

starts

show examples

studying

art

Use synonyms

, he or she, might discover inner traits and talents,

hence

Linking Words

develop them, and stick to it as a hobby, or as a source of inspiration.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, these

subjects

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

can help to engage

students

Use synonyms

into

Change preposition

show examples

studying. Meanwhile, many

students

Use synonyms

find it challenging, and boring, to focus on education,

such

Linking Words

subjects

Use synonyms

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

, can assist them, by making learning more entertaining, and captivating.

For instance

Linking Words

, if the student, is often seen

stressed

Correct word choice

as stressed

show examples

and lost,

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

, will distract him, from the energy-consuming, and complex lessons

such

Linking Words

as math, physics, or chemistry, and settle for 1-1,5 hours of relaxation, inspiration and

self expressing

Add a hyphen

self-expressing

show examples

lesson

Fix the agreement mistake

lessons

show examples

. Eventually, the student will be recharged and ready for the next lessons of the remaining

subjects

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, though

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

subjects

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

are not as valuable as math, chemistry, or history, the

leonardoinoscarSat Aug 06 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Your introduction is clear and presents the topic, but may benefit from a more engaging hook to capture the reader's interest.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay is well-structured and the main points are supported with relevant examples and explanations. Consider using transition words to improve the coherence between paragraphs.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

foster creativity
innovative thinking
emotional well-being
reduce stress
creative expression
cultural awareness
inclusive and diverse society
cognitive development
academic performance
spatial-temporal reasoning
language development
career opportunities
creative industries
contributors to the economy

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In today's world, many people own a smarrtphone.Do you think the advantages of using a smartphones outwiegh the disadvantages?
In today's digital age,many people have a smartphone.This author argues that the benefits of self-studying and communicating conveniently outweigh the drawbacks of being addicted to smartphones
7.5
band
Some feel that school uniforms make schools safer for students, create a "level playing field" that reduces socioeconomic disparities and encourage children to focus on their studies rather than their clothes. Others say school uniforms infringe upon students' right to express their individuality, have no positive effect on behaviour and academic achievement. Discuss both sides & give your opinion
In contemporary educational discourse, the issue of uniforms remains contentious, evoking divergent perspectives on their impact. Advocates argue that the implementation of school outfits contributes to a safer school environment by fostering a sense of unity and eliminating visible socioeconomic disparities among students. Moreover, proponents contend that uniforms redirect students' attention from fashion concerns to academic pursuits, thereby enhancing the overall learning experience.
6.5
band
Some people believe that it is best to encourage children to have a healthy diet at school while others believe that parents should be the ones to teach children to have a healthy diet.Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some individuals claim that it is good to advise young children to have a healthy diet at school while others believe that parents are responsible for educating their children to have healthy food. This essay will discuss both aspects and articulate the given problem along with my opinion and logical conclusion.
7.5
band
Some people feel that children should be able to choose the subjects they are interested in while others feel they should study the basic require subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Today, the Modern education system has changed remarkably, some individuals believe in giving choice to kids to choose subjects they like, while others believe it is good to have the same education system for children. I strongly believe in allowing children to choose their favourite topic.
7.5
band
Some think that printed books are not necessary in the digital era, because all writing can be stored electronically. Others think printed books still play an important role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the age of rapid technological advancement, the debate over the relevance of printed books in contrast to their electronic counterparts has become increasingly pronounced. On one side of the argument, proponents of digitalization assert that electronic books (e-books) are rendering printed materials obsolete. Conversely, traditionalists argue that printed books continue to hold significant value. This essay will explore both viewpoints before concluding with my perspective that both forms have their unique importance in today’s world.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

In today's world, many people own a smarrtphone.Do you think the advantages of using a smartphones outwiegh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that it is best to encourage children to have a healthy diet at school while others believe that parents should be the ones to teach children to have a healthy diet.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people feel that children should be able to choose the subjects they are interested in while others feel they should study the basic require subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some think that printed books are not necessary in the digital era, because all writing can be stored electronically. Others think printed books still play an important role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.