Housing shortages in big cities can cause severe social consequences. Some people think that only government action can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In metropolitan cities, the shortage of accommodation is
getting
Verb problem
becoming
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a bigger problem for the citizens,
whereas
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many believe that the government is the one who can tackle
this
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calamity with their own rules. I agree with
this
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statement, and I will fortify my views in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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with, in my mind, the populaces are moving to the cities for various reasons. For reasons, it could be a job or a university education. I just recently read one article, students have different opinions, many say, that admission to a university is far easier
rather
Rephrase
apply
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than finding space for living, and it is irrefutable,
for instance
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, the article delineated
that is
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this
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not a problem for one country, it is a global delinquent, and everyone is suffering with it.
For example
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, in Ireland, finding a flat is trickier than having a seat in the institute. Humans are obliged to pay a very high amount of money to live, they feel unfair and
is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
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true. Many of them sleep in their vehicle
due to
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a shortage of space. All over the globe, most students are in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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trouble rather than anyone else.
Nevertheless
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, international students
have
Verb problem
are
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several disruptive than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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locals.
On the other hand
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, the administration must pay attention to resolve
this
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matter, and I am sure they can because having the power they are more eligible to look out for
this
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tension.
In addition
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, many countries
had
Wrong verb form
have
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a law for infrastructure and people must follow them,
likewise
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, if they look through all the perspectives and ease some law enforcement about the residential structure
then
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it could be possible to get
this
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phenomenon.
For example
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, if the population
will be
Wrong verb form
is
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allowed to build multistore buildings maybe we can get a solution for living.
Although
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to my knowledge, many nations are eager to retain
this
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challenge by putting bunkers, it is not a permanent cure. In conclusion, the shortage of space has created a crisis among the citizens. Government must go through
this
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and try to change their laws about infrastructures unless in the future it will be a huge burden for all nations.
Submitted by ahtesham on

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Task Achievement
Improve task achievement by addressing the specific points outlined in the essay question and by providing a well-developed opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure is weak. Try to organize the essay with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ensure that main points are well supported.
Lexical Resource
Enhance lexical resource by using a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring that words are used accurately and appropriately.
Grammatical Range
Work on grammatical range by using a wider variety of sentence structures and demonstrating control of complex structures.
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