Some people believe that women should be able to join their country’s army and police forces. Others think that only men should be allowed to work in these areas. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Equality between
men
and
women
is always a global argument. Some people reckon that
women
should serve
country
Add an article
the country
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by joining
army
Correct article usage
the army
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and forces, while opponents argue that only
men
can
servecountry
Correct your spelling
serve country
in these areas. Personally , I am in consummate accord with the aforementioned notion and the following expository paragraphs will expatiate my stance with lucid examples. On one hand, there are many reasons
women
get rejected during the selection process of military forces because of biological conditions and mental strength to face
war
Correct article usage
a war
show examples
environment.
For example
, in the past
women
are only allowed to
household
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do household
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work
such
as cooking and taking care of family.
Women
doesn't
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don't
show examples
have access to education and sports.
Women
are considered weak in terms of facing
war
Correct article usage
a war
show examples
environment.
On the other hand
, modern
women
has
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have
show examples
access to all resources including education ,
physical
Correct word choice
and physical
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activities to improve their physical and mental strength.
Women
from
this
era proved that they are no less than a man and scored high in all departments compared to
men
.They should get equal access as what
men
can including serving
nation
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the nation
show examples
by joining arm forces. One should always try to serve
country
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the country
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in one or
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
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way be it
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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women
Fix the agreement mistake
woman
show examples
or
men
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man
show examples
. In conclusion, each gender must get the same rights and treatment, not only
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
military, it would be in every field of life.
Therefore
, each individual can be a part of the military or any other profession they choose.
Submitted by priya45338 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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