Today, the lifespan of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the average lifespan of
Add an article
the individual
an individual
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
move
Correct your spelling
more
show examples
enormous than earlier. As some people believe that
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
generation should keep engaging in their occupation for more years. the essay agrees with the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
phenomenon and related points will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. To initiate with, elderly
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
have enough strength to perform their
activities
Use synonyms
well better than youngsters as they have move experience throughout the time while doing
activities
Use synonyms
repeated from
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
age made them potential leaders.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, senior citizens will become more independent as well as average tasks can be easily performed by them to earn their living .
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey was conducted in 2021 which revealed that older people are much able to support their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
by doing
small
Add an article
the small
a small
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
if they
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
their young ones
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
unexpected accidents.
Although
Linking Words
it may challenging for youth to secure jobs due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of excessive involvement in managing
activities
Use synonyms
than
Change preposition
of
show examples
aged employees and expression of innovative ideas for future
betterments
Fix the agreement mistake
betterment
show examples
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
if individuals proceed their jobs
consequently
Linking Words
reduce the government budget for more social
activities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as pension and health care amenities. To exemplify, in India, the elder people from
teaching
Correct article usage
the teaching
show examples
profession dedicate their participation at work to
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
more
self reliant
Add a hyphen
self-reliant
show examples
rather than depending all over on government incentives. To bind up everything,
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
of the fact that proceeding working
activities
Use synonyms
for old age with much experience and feeling of
self reliant
Add a hyphen
self-reliant
show examples
will help the economy yet a problem of youth to present ideas may stop.
Submitted by gagankaur6613 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • lifespan
  • workforce
  • invaluable experience
  • mentorship
  • expertise
  • accumulated knowledge
  • socially engaged
  • sense of purpose
  • fulfillment
  • pension system sustainability
  • social welfare
  • economy
  • imbalance
  • employment opportunities
  • aging bodies
  • financial burden
What to do next:
Look at other essays: