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Band 4

Today, the lifespan of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#lifespan #people #workforce
Nowadays, the average lifespan of
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the individual
an individual
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individual
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individuals
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have
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has
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move
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more
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 enormous than earlier. As some people believe that
old
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the old
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 generation should keep engaging in their occupation for more years. the essay agrees with the
above mentioned
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above-mentioned
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 phenomenon and related points will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. To initiate with, elderly
citizen
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citizens
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 have enough strength to perform their
activities
 well better than youngsters as they have move experience throughout the time while doing
activities
 repeated from
young
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a young
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 age made them potential leaders.
Besides
this
, senior citizens will become more independent as well as average tasks can be easily performed by them to earn their living .
For instance
, a survey was conducted in 2021 which revealed that older people are much able to support their
family
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families
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 by doing
small
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the small
a small
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job
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jobs
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 if they
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lose
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loose
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lose
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 their young ones
by
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to
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 unexpected accidents.
Although
 it may challenging for youth to secure jobs due to
lack
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a lack
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 of excessive involvement in managing
activities
than
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of
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 aged employees and expression of innovative ideas for future
betterments
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betterment
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.
Meanwhile
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,Meanwhile
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 if individuals proceed their jobs
consequently
 reduce the government budget for more social
activities
such
 as pension and health care amenities. To exemplify, in India, the elder people from
teaching
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the teaching
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 profession dedicate their participation at work to
be
Wrong verb form
being
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 more
self reliant
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self-reliant
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 rather than depending all over on government incentives. To bind up everything,
inspite
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in spite
 of the fact that proceeding working
activities
 for old age with much experience and feeling of
self reliant
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self-reliant
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 will help the economy yet a problem of youth to present ideas may stop.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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