IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Behaviour in schools is getting worse Explain the causes and effects of this problem and suggest some possible solutions

#behaviour #schools #effects
Schools
 play a crucial role in everyone's life. People's
behaviour
 in
schools
 getting inferior due to lack of discipline and family problems.
This
 essay will describe the reasons for
this
 problem.
Firstly
,
Behaviour
 in
schools
 is becoming poor due to a lack of discipline. Nowadays, in most countries
faculty
 in
school
 are not allowed to hurt
children
, so
children
 in
school
 are breaking the rules. To overcome
this
 problem,
faculty
 should punish the
children
 by giving homework and conducting some awareness programs regarding respecting elders,etc.
For example
, in the USA, people have no right to punish the
children
 physically while they should deal with the
children
 by keeping some rules and regulations.
Secondly
, due to family
problem's
Change noun form
problem
show examples
 most parents neglect their
children
. Parents will not take care of their
children
 in
this
 situation.
This
 will impact
children
's
behaviour
 mostly. Due to their family member's
behaviour
children
 will not behave properly. To solve
this
 issue,
children
 should not be involved in any family problems. To sum up, the
behaviour
 of
children
 in
school
 is the most important thing. In
schools
,
faculty
 should give preference to the
behaviour
 of
children
 rather than their studies.
Faculty
 should treat
children
 in a friendly way.
School
 life is an important part of everybody's life.
Submitted by madarapulavanya1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: