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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think watching TV is bad for children, while others think that watching TV has more beneficial effects on children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #tv #children #effects
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We live in an age where the development of technology has altered nearly all aspects of our life, including entertainment.
Consequently
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,
this
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 trend
also
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 creates a heated debate regarding whether it is negative for
children
Use synonyms
 to watch
TV
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 or
watching
Correct word choice
whether watching
show examples
TV
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 is actually advantageous for them. The aim of
this
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 paragraph is to explore both views and explain
as to
Change preposition
apply
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why I support the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
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 one. On the one hand, there are several reasons why so many people argue that
TV
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 is unsuitable for their
children
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.
Firstly
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, an
alarming
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alarmingly
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 high amount of time watching
the
Correct article usage
apply
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television
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 may negatively affect their health. In fact, it is evident that staring too much into the
television
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’s screen can greatly weaken
children
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’s eyesight, resulting in many cases where it is necessary for
children
Use synonyms
 to wear glasses in order to see clearly.
Additionally
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, it can not be ignored that various shows and programs on
TV
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 can be a bad influence on
children
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. Unsurprisingly, there are a number of series being aired on
television
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 that
contain
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contains
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 mature
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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, including violence, addictive substances, or
crime
Replace the word
criminal
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 activities. Due to the fact that the mindset of
children
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 has not developed enough to have a mature view on these subjects, they may have an inappropriate opinion on those matters, which could be detrimental to their morality and discipline.
On the other hand
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, if parents can cleverly utilize the use of televisions, it can be extremely
favorable
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favourable
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 for their
children
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.
First
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 of all, the knowledge
on
Change preposition
in
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 various fields that
children
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 can gain from watching
television
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 is essentially limitless.
For instance
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, there exists a
TV
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 channel called the Discovery Channel that provides educational programs focused
around
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on
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 various subjects,
such
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 as science, history
or
Correct word choice
and
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 wildlife.
Furthermore
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, the amusement and pleasure that
children
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 can gain from watching the telly are undoubtedly worthwhile. In fact, there
are
Change the verb form
is
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 an abundance of shows and programs that can give
children
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 an incredibly delightful and enjoyable experience.
Consequently
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,
this
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 will positively contribute to
children
Use synonyms
’s mental health, allowing them to be more cheerful and happy. In conclusion,
although
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 there are indeed many drawbacks to
children
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 watching
television
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, it is my belief that the advantages still outweigh it.
Submitted by nghiemthanhlong432005 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary behavior
  • unrealistic perceptions
  • creative pursuits
  • social development
  • emotional development
  • constructive content
  • screen time
  • parental guidance
  • critical thinking
  • active learning
  • age-appropriate
  • media literacy
  • family bonding
  • moderation
  • perceive
What to do next:
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