Some people think watching TV is bad for children, while others think that watching TV has more beneficial effects on children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #tv #children #effects

We live in an age where the development of technology has altered nearly all aspects of our life, including entertainment.

Consequently

this

trend

also

creates a heated debate regarding whether it is negative for

children

to watch

watching

Correct word choice

whether watching

show examples

is actually advantageous for them. The aim of

this

paragraph is to explore both views and explain

as to

Change preposition

apply

show examples

why I support the

later

Correct your spelling

latter

show examples

one. On the one hand, there are several reasons why so many people argue that

is unsuitable for their

children

Firstly

, an

alarming

Change the adjective

alarmingly

show examples

high amount of time watching

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television

may negatively affect their health. In fact, it is evident that staring too much into the

television

’s screen can greatly weaken

children

’s eyesight, resulting in many cases where it is necessary for

children

to wear glasses in order to see clearly.

Additionally

, it can not be ignored that various shows and programs on

can be a bad influence on

children

. Unsurprisingly, there are a number of series being aired on

television

that

contain

Change the verb form

contains

show examples

mature

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

, including violence, addictive substances, or

crime

Replace the word

criminal

show examples

activities. Due to the fact that the mindset of

children

has not developed enough to have a mature view on these subjects, they may have an inappropriate opinion on those matters, which could be detrimental to their morality and discipline.

On the other hand

, if parents can cleverly utilize the use of televisions, it can be extremely

favorable

Change the spelling

favourable

show examples

for their

children

First

of all, the knowledge

Change preposition

show examples

various fields that

children

can gain from watching

television

is essentially limitless.

For instance

, there exists a

channel called the Discovery Channel that provides educational programs focused

around

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show examples

various subjects,

such

as science, history

Correct word choice

and

show examples

wildlife.

Furthermore

, the amusement and pleasure that

children

can gain from watching the telly are undoubtedly worthwhile. In fact, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

an abundance of shows and programs that can give

children

an incredibly delightful and enjoyable experience.

Consequently

this

will positively contribute to

children

’s mental health, allowing them to be more cheerful and happy. In conclusion,

although

there are indeed many drawbacks to

children

watching

television

, it is my belief that the advantages still outweigh it.

Submitted by nghiemthanhlong432005 on Sun Aug 07 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

357 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary behavior
unrealistic perceptions
creative pursuits
social development
emotional development
constructive content
screen time
parental guidance
critical thinking
active learning
age-appropriate
media literacy
family bonding
moderation
perceive

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Some people think watching TV is bad for children, while others think that watching TV has more beneficial effects on children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

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