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Band 7.5

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

#areas #curfew #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult
A
curfew
 is a time at
night
 when teenagers are not allowed outdoors after a certain time in the
night
 unless there is an adult accompanying them,
this
 rule is in certain areas of the US. I strongly believe that
this
 results in a very positive outcome, and
this
 essay will discuss the reasons why. The dangers that the young generation faces nowadays
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and most of these events take place at
night
, as it is easier for the perpetrators to accomplish their goals undetected,
such
 as stalking, mugging, sexual assault, and many more. There are a lot of examples of these kinds of events happening in real life, but the most recent and popular one would be the assault of July Therr, where she went out with her friends after
curfew
 and ended up getting sexually assaulted by a middle-aged man who has been stalking her every
night
 when she goes out. The rule to stay in the house after
curfew
also
 protects teenagers from their own stupidity, as at that age, they are more subject to alcohol, drugs, smoking, vaping, and awful social interactions by going to parties. At that age, they are curious about things they haven't tried yet,
such
 as the things mentioned before because of the need to be popular and lack of individualism. In conclusion,
curfew
 being imposed in certain areas of the US is evidently a very good thing and it should be imposed in every other state or even country to protect young adults from other people or even themselves.
Submitted by millionmiles.indonesia on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Use transitional phrases to connect ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each argument is clearly introduced, expanded upon, and linked back to the main thesis to enhance clarity and coherence.
task achievement
While specific examples were provided, consider using a broader range of examples to support your arguments more comprehensively.
task achievement
Avoid repetitive sentence structures. Use varied sentence forms for a more engaging and sophisticated writing style.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction that states the main argument and a conclusion that summarizes the points made.
task achievement
The essay provides specific examples, such as the mention of July Therr, to support its arguments, which enhances the task achievement.
task achievement
The writer effectively addresses potential dangers faced by teenagers, demonstrating good understanding and engagement with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enforce
  • juvenile
  • repercussions
  • autonomy
  • adolescence
  • paternalistic
  • delinquency
  • municipality
  • ordinance
  • authoritarian
  • peer pressure
  • social dynamics
  • civil liberties
  • community policing
  • preventative measures
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