IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

For some people, making a lot of money is an important goal. Others think that their free time is more important than wealth. Which is more important to you? Explain, giving specific reasons for your choice.

#people #money #time #wealth #choice
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
people
Use synonyms
 think that earning cash is a much more important goal in their life rather than free
time
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, others have a strong belief in
this
Linking Words
 statement. There are many reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
money
Use synonyms
 is not the important goal and I am standing by my free
time
Use synonyms
 is a much more important value thing than wealth. I will discuss both aspects and give my opinion in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
, my free
time
Use synonyms
 should be spent
time
Use synonyms
 with my family. I strongly believe that our happy life is more important than
money
Use synonyms
 when
people
Use synonyms
 have a family. It is true that we are working so hard and always be busy with our job or our successful career and we forget that our most important valuable things what we want from our lives.
For instance
Linking Words
, a friend of mine has worked in two different
work
Use synonyms
 always busy with her
work
Use synonyms
 and pursuing
money
Use synonyms
 but at the end of
this
Linking Words
 , the situation she lost the most important relationship in his life.
Secondly
Linking Words
, earning cash is not a valuable goal as travelling in the world. When
people
Use synonyms
 have free
time
Use synonyms
, they can tour everywhere when they wish. Because travelling is a huge opportunity to understand and improve a huge range of knowledge of the world from other country's cultures and languages.
Although
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that they can buy everything when they wish if they have enough wealth but they cannot buy the
time
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, gaining a huge amount of cash is that need hard
work
Use synonyms
 and
time
Use synonyms
 would be always spent on the
work
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who pursue wealth can not travel and never feel free from their
work
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, there are a lot of perspectives about
money
Use synonyms
 and free
time
Use synonyms
. in my view of the point is that free
time
Use synonyms
 is more essential aspect that can person who feel free from their
work
Use synonyms
 and
money
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ulziiko81 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: