IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy for them? Which viewpoint do you agree with?

#people #pets #children
Keeping
pets
 in houses
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
 common nowadays. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
 wish to keep
pets
 like cats and dogs.
Children
 are always happy when they are with
the
Change the word
their
show examples
pets
. But some people think it is dangerous and unhealthy for them. There are many benefits
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 having a pet in your family.
Pets
 can make everyone happy
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 kids. Kids never feel alone if they have
pets
. Humans and their
pets
 make loving bonds that
last
 forever. They keep
children
 fit. Normally dogs need
daily
Add an article
a daily
show examples
 walk to be healthy and so do
children
. They never let to be their owners alone. And they reduce our stress. They may be able to teach
children
 responsibility. And
also
, they make our
children
 feel safe.
Specially
Replace the word
Especially
show examples
 when the parents
out
Add a missing verb
are out
show examples
 of the home dogs protect kids.
On the other hand
,
pets
 can be dangerous at times. When they didn’t get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attention, they behave unnaturally. Biting and scratching is a common unnatural
behaviors
Change the noun form
behavior
show examples
 of
pets
. And
also
, regular baths
are need
Change the verb form
are needed
show examples
 for them.
Otherwise
, they can get sicknesses. Need to do vaccination annually.
Otherwise
, they can get rabies –
viral
Add an article
a viral
show examples
 infection. It is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very dangerous and can spread to people by bitten by
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 infected animal. Rabies usually caused death. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 having
pets
 have more advantages than disadvantages. There
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
keeping
pets
 is good for
children
. They are
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 part of our lives.
Pets
 are
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 friends of humans.
Submitted by al on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: