Some people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences between the richest and the poorest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #society #differences #members

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It is believed by the majority of individuals that they make sure

Change preposition

apply

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minor differences between the affluent and indigent would create a joyful community. I contradict

this

Linking Words

notion because happiness is not about the contrast between two people. I

would be focusing

Wrong verb form

will focus

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on the reasons behind my disagreement, which

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be followed by relative examples.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it is impossible to measure the level of happiness by wealth because many developed countries are still at the bottom of the table when it comes to a joyful society. The reason

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

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is that every

people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

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are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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struggling with a different set of problems, and not all are dealing with money. To exemplify

this

Linking Words

, Singapore is the world's richest nation as of now.

However

Linking Words

, it is lacking behind many dictatorship countries in the global happiness index.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it clearly indicates that wealth is not a massive problem.

In addition

Linking Words

, the definition of a happier society is different from the argument of the United Nations. Countries which are less crime and that

gives

Correct subject-verb agreement

give

show examples

more freedom to the people in terms of opinion share are considered better society. To illustrate

this

Linking Words

, Canada is the prime example because they are following judiciary norms, which were written by the first senate of the nation, and it states that the government does not have the power to stop voices against them from the individuals, which is why Canada is still in the first row for the joyful nation. In conclusion,

albeit

Correct word choice

apply

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, some adequate benefits can happen in the community by making sure the minimal variance between poor and rich.

However

Linking Words

, the definition of contentment is different, and it is not dealing with wealth.

Submitted by ephrinzalvin on Sun Aug 07 2022

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task response

Ensure the essay addresses the prompt directly and clearly states your position on the issue.

coherence and cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and effective organizational structure. Use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas and create a more cohesive essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

income inequality
distribution of wealth
social cohesion
social unrest
crime rates
economic equality
overall well-being
health outcomes
education outcomes
motivation
innovation
equal opportunities
wealth redistribution
economic growth
productivity

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Some people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences between the richest and the poorest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Today there are a lot of websites providing news on the internet. Some people believe that these websites will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying are alternative medicines anf treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as offices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion on which side you favour.