Some people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences between the richest and the poorest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #society #differences #members

It is believed by the majority of individuals that they make sure

Change preposition

apply

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minor differences between the affluent and indigent would create a joyful community. I contradict

this

notion because happiness is not about the contrast between two people. I

would be focusing

Wrong verb form

will focus

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on the reasons behind my disagreement, which

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be followed by relative examples.

Firstly

, it is impossible to measure the level of happiness by wealth because many developed countries are still at the bottom of the table when it comes to a joyful society. The reason

being

Unnecessary verb

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is that every

people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

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are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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struggling with a different set of problems, and not all are dealing with money. To exemplify

this

, Singapore is the world's richest nation as of now.

However

, it is lacking behind many dictatorship countries in the global happiness index.

Therefore

, it clearly indicates that wealth is not a massive problem.

In addition

, the definition of a happier society is different from the argument of the United Nations. Countries which are less crime and that

gives

Correct subject-verb agreement

give

show examples

more freedom to the people in terms of opinion share are considered better society. To illustrate

this

, Canada is the prime example because they are following judiciary norms, which were written by the first senate of the nation, and it states that the government does not have the power to stop voices against them from the individuals, which is why Canada is still in the first row for the joyful nation. In conclusion,

albeit

Correct word choice

apply

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, some adequate benefits can happen in the community by making sure the minimal variance between poor and rich.

However

, the definition of contentment is different, and it is not dealing with wealth.

Submitted by ephrinzalvin on Sun Aug 07 2022

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task response

Ensure the essay addresses the prompt directly and clearly states your position on the issue.

coherence and cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and effective organizational structure. Use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas and create a more cohesive essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

income inequality
distribution of wealth
social cohesion
social unrest
crime rates
economic equality
overall well-being
health outcomes
education outcomes
motivation
innovation
equal opportunities
wealth redistribution
economic growth
productivity

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Some people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences between the richest and the poorest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, schools have started to include online learning as part of their curriculum. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Some people think parents should supervise there children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.