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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that Art gives our lives meaning and purpose. Others believe that it is merely a distraction from real life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #art #lives #purpose #distraction #life
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Art
Use synonyms
 is thought by some to be a meaningful activity, while others argue it only distracts from reality without any real
value
Use synonyms
, yet giving lust not to work.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
aesthetics
Use synonyms
 is crucial for humans as a distinction from animals. I find both of these views compatible,
therefore
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will try to discuss
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
art
Use synonyms
 gives purpose
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our lives, since visual
art
Use synonyms
 is crucial for
aesthetics
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
aesthetics
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 is vital for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humankind. To take
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example,
buildings
Correct article usage
the buildings
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 of Gaudi in Barcelona are not only
apartaments
Correct your spelling
apartments
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but pieces of
art
Use synonyms
 as well.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, despite the fact that one could live in a grey dormitory, the person would tend to feel worthless, because the surroundings in
this
Linking Words
 case don't give any meaning or joy
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 life.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 is what
distincts
Correct your spelling
distinct
 us from animals, because no other kind
is know
Change the verb form
is known
show examples
 to do something aesthetically appealing if the
value
Use synonyms
 is only immaterial.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 distracts people from reality,
as a result
Linking Words
 of not giving any real
value
Use synonyms
. It can be explained by the fact that
capitalistic
Correct article usage
the capitalistic
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 system values material worth, whereas
art
Use synonyms
 is valued only on aesthetical grounds.
Besides
Linking Words
, artists don't create any
value
Use synonyms
 for society's economical wellness,
thus
Linking Words
 members of
proletariat
Add an article
the proletariat
show examples
 have to work for them as well. Notwithstanding, workers might start to want to be artists or enjoy
aesthetics
Use synonyms
 themselves,
hence
Linking Words
 lowering the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 productivity that
results
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
 in
worse
Correct article usage
a worse
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 economical situation. French
philopher
Correct your spelling
philosopher
 Camus once said that we do and consume
art
Use synonyms
as
Correct word choice
so as
show examples
 not to kill ourselves. I agree with
such
Linking Words
 a statement, noting that
art
Use synonyms
 distracts us from the harsh reality and gives an illusion of meaningful life. Yet if it helps, who am I to argue
against
Correct pronoun usage
itagainst
show examples
? To conclude,
art
Use synonyms
 creates aesthetically appealing surroundings, making people feel that their lives are
Correct your spelling
meaningful
meaningul
Correct your spelling
meaningful
, as well as
distincting
Correct your spelling
distinctive
distinction
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humankind from other species. At the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 doesn't create any material
value
Use synonyms
, yet
conversely
Linking Words
, it lowers productivity. While I agree with all of these statements, I tend to believe that
art
Use synonyms
 is needful
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 as a distraction from everyday lives.
Submitted by rytassakas on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • aesthetic
  • cathartic
  • cultural tapestry
  • expressionism
  • fleeting
  • introspection
  • monetary value
  • nostalgia
  • profound impact
  • socioeconomic
  • subjective perspective
  • visceral response
What to do next:
Look at other essays: