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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some children receive no encouragement from their parents regarding to their performance at school, while other children receive pressure from their enthusiastic parents. Why do you think some parents put pressure on their children to do well in his school? What do you think a parent's role should be in their child's education

#children #encouragement #parents #performance #school #pressure #parent #role #child #education
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Generally, youngsters do well in
life
 when they receive an expression of approval from their guardians.
However
, people are of your opinion that most of the time children are not encouraged at all. while the force exerted on others from overzealous sponsors as regards their educational aspect has disadvantages effect on their performance . Both the reasons why
parents
 do
this
 and their purpose in their
kids
' academics will have expatriated in subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
 with ,in my opinion, sponsors believe in their children and would want them to do well in
education
.
This
 is because when
kids
 succeed in their academics ,they have more chances of doing well generally in
life
 as basic knowledge acquired from school is a major criterion in determining one's success in years to come.
For example
 ,an article that was written in the Guardian newspaper demonstrated how
parents
' constant efforts and support for their youngsters have contributed to their achievements in
life
. ,
Evidently
Add a comma
,Evidently
show examples
parents
' encouragement is vital in a
child
's academics.
However
,
parents
' job and support towards educational activities of their children include being present and active in their early learning periods, as
this
 would create a bond and lasting impression when the
child
 gets higher in
education
, along with acquiring valuable
life
 skills ,as well as making decisions as an adult later in
life
.
Moreover
,
parents
 should
also
 celebrate their
child
's success as most of them do better and improve their abilities
subsequently
.
For example
 ,according to research conducted by the minister of
education
 in primary schools ,it was that 90% of
kids
, who are doing well in school
as a result
 of appraisals they got from their
parents
therefore
 commanding the academic achievement of a
child
, is one of their parent's roles. In conclusion ,some enthusiastic
parents
 exert pressure on
child
's educational activities and have, in turn, created a negative impact on them, while others do not support their
child
's academic pursuit in any way.
However
, most of them do
this
 because they want their
kids
 to succeed and they
also
 think is one of their purpose in a
child
's
education
.
Submitted by agozie2018 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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