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Band 4.5

ome people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#ome #people #workers #doctors #teachers #sports #entertainment #personalities
Many
of
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apply
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experts believe that the experience persons
such
 as medical
man
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men
show examples
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
headmasters should be paid more than the average people like sports and different
celebraties
Correct your spelling
celebrities
.In
this
 essay,
i
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I
show examples
 will explain
whatever
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
i
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I
show examples
 accepted
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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or denied
this
 discussion.
Firstly
,
i
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I
show examples
 am agreed with that discussion because Doctors
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
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 a vital role in
daily
Correct article usage
the daily
show examples
 affairs of life.A medical man
save
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saves
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 uncountable lives.He sacrifices all of his comfort for his
profession
futher
Correct your spelling
further
 more,he never said that he is busy
in
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with
show examples
such
a life activities
Correct the article-noun agreement
life activities
a life activity
show examples
 because his
profession
 is more important than his life.
Atfer
Correct your spelling
After
this
 if he demanded
for
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apply
show examples
more paid so what is wrong? Government should pay them more and more what they a.
Secondly
,another
profession
introduce
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introduces
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 which
have
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has
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 a special part in
society
 and every of men who live in any corner of
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the country
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country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
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 has
a
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an
show examples
 interest of getting
education
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an education
show examples
.The
profession
what
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that
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 I am talked is a
profession
 of
professor
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professors
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 of all sexes because they taught a person without caring Rather the person belongs to which city and whatever a person belongs to a cost.All of these matters did not interfere
in
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with
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 his
profession
 because his
profession
 is a path of light and peace.If he is Happy and he teaches the
child's
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children
show examples
 of their
society
 not only books by teaches them their responsibility of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 in a
society
.The salary paid to them should be high all
of
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apply
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over the other
professions
.
On the other hand
,the other
professions
 like
film
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the film
show examples
 industry and sportsmanship have more money and
lands
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land
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 than the other vital
professions
 and
this
 is wrong what is happening in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
 people have more interest in these two
professions
 and keep the other vital
professions
 like
doctry
Correct your spelling
doctors
doctor
 and teachers on
side
Add an article
the side
show examples
.People should pay them
highly
Correct quantifier usage
more highly
show examples
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 their expectations. In general,it can be seen that the salary or money paid to doctors and teachers are less than the other
professions
 like entertainment and sportsmanship.
This
 is wrong what
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 happening to medical,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 to the teachers. Because these two
professions
 are very important for the pride of a Nation. In conclusion,I perfectly agreed with that discussion.And honestly said apply that government should play a significant role in
this
 fair
Submitted by naeem14.akram on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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