IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that cars are the best to use in cities while others think that bicycle are better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion?

There are two beliefs about transport options in the capital
,
Punctuation problem
:
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 car or bike.
using
Fix capitalization
Using
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 cars in
cities
Use synonyms
Linking Words
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 contrast to riding a
Use synonyms
bicycle
Punctuation problem
bicycle,
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 is a matter which has not ended with a single answer.
both
Fix capitalization
Both
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 of them have their own pros and cons
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 we will discuss . I opine with the
later
Use the right word
latter
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 view. From one point of view, riding a
bicycle
Use synonyms
 in crowded
cities
Use synonyms
 could be the best option to reduce noise and traffic
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; however
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however
Punctuation problem
however,
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 it should not be forgotten that
this
Linking Words
 choice has some prerequisites that must be considered.
first
Fix capitalization
First
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 of all, the architecture of the city is the most important part.
Linking Words
This
Verb problem
Does this
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means
Correct subject-verb agreement
mean
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is there
Correct word order
there is
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any
Correct determiner usage
a
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 dedicated lane for bicycles on the street? because the safety of the riders has the highest priority.
based
Fix capitalization
Based
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 on Dr John Smith's research
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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has
Verb problem
was
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 published
on
Change preposition
in
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 2019 in
New
Correct article usage
the New
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 York Times, the sum of
bicycle
Use synonyms
 accidents in
cities
Use synonyms
 without
bicycle
Use synonyms
 routes is 72.3% higher than the number of other that
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 them. The second major benefit of
this
Linking Words
transporting
Replace the word
transportation
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 method is its positive effect on city traffic.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Amsterdam, the number of bikes is 1.7 times more than the number of cars
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the traffic on streets without a bike is
imaginable
Use the right word
unimaginable
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.
Linking Words
on
Fix capitalization
On
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 the other hand, using the car is an undeniable need of the 21st century
;
Punctuation problem
,
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 especially in developed
cities
Use synonyms
 where places are located not close to each other and
Correct pronoun usage
one need
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need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 to drive there. Anyhow, the major problem with using cars is finding a place to park and obeying the driving principles.
in
Fix capitalization
In
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 conclusion, my opinion about those ideas is
despite
Correct word choice
that despite
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 using the car
is
Wrong verb form
being
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 easier and more reachable but we must consider environmental care and try to keep the ease and carelessness balanced.

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planning
Plan your essay with a clear start, two body parts, and a simple end. State your view in the last line of the end.
grammar
Use short, clear sentences. Check that one idea is in one line to avoid chaos.
development
Add easy examples that fit the topic and keep facts simple and true.
cohesion
Use linking words like first, also, but, however, so, then to join ideas.
content
You show both sides and give a view.
structure
You have a clear opinion at the end.
examples
There are real world examples used.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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