The graphs below show unemployment rates and average earnings according to level of education.

The graphs below show unemployment rates and average earnings according to level of education.
The bar charts illustrate the amount of
unemployment
and average earnings in four different education levels.
Overall
, what is clear from the data is that graduate degree owners were the highest amount of
money
earned,
while
that group had the least place in the
unemployment
rate.
On the contrary
,
while
the high school
graduates
were in the first place, those earned the least
money
. Focusing on the
unemployment
rate by education level, high school and some college
graduates
had the greatest and the
second greatest
Add a hyphen
second-greatest
show examples
rates in 2016 with 5.5% and 4.2%, respectively.
However
, Graduate degree owners were the group that had the rock-bottom point in the
unemployment
rate at 1.2%.
On the other hand
, in average weekly earnings, in spite of the fact that high school
graduates
earned the least
money
at 500 dollars, graduate degree owners earned the highest amount of
money
at 1500 dollars.
Also
, college
graduates
were the
second
highest earners at 1100 dollars.
Submitted by cinararabaci7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second, while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, money, graduates with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: