Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents regarding their performance at school, while other children receive too much pressure from their over enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on the child.

To begin
with,
parent’s
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parents
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exerts pressure on their
children
Change noun form
children's
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performance in school because
of
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apply
show examples
the amount they spend on their tuition fee makes them have certain expectations concerning their performance in school.
Secondly
, parents usually make
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
mistake of comparing their
children
with other
children
which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
not appropriate and fair enough
on
Change preposition
for
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the
child
.
This
factor of comparison
as
Correct your spelling
has
show examples
a negative impact on the
child
, the
child
begins to feel inferior and their
self esteem
Add a hyphen
self-esteem
show examples
will be lost.
Furthermore
, I believe that parents have a vital responsibility to play in their
child
’s performance
such
as constantly getting involved in the courses they do, taking note of their
weakness
Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
show examples
, and
also
encouraging them to do better
boost
Fix the infinitive
to boost
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their
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
, and zeal to perform well In conclusion, parents
exerts
Change the verb form
exert
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pressure on their
children
because it is indeed a joy to every parent to see their
child
do better than them, and
also
to maintain their reputation in
the
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apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by agozie2018 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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