IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Should the government fund the education and healthcare system? What is your opinion?

#government #fund #education #healthcare #system
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Public
services
Use synonyms
 which include
education
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 and
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 are
major
Add an article
a major
the major
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determinant
Fix the agreement mistake
determinants
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 of
standard
Correct article usage
the standard
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 of living in any society. It is agreed that
government
Use synonyms
 should
fund
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 and the
health
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 sector.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse how
this
Linking Words
 will give equal access
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 citizens to good
education
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 and
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
, as well as serve as an avenue for revenue generation.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of
health
Use synonyms
 and
education
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 by the authorities
enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
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 access to equal and quality
services
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 in
this
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 and
health
Use synonyms
 sectors.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is widely known that most poor
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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 cannot afford good
health
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care
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 in private
health
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 facilities and quality
education
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 in
non
Add a hyphen
non-government
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government
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 institutions. Funding of
Linking Words
this sectors
Change the determiner
this sector
these sectors
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 by
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government
Add an article
the government
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 will reduce the social gap in accessing
health
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care
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 and
education
Use synonyms
 between the economic classes in the society and
also
Linking Words
 improve the standard of living of the people.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is clear the
government
Use synonyms
 should
fund
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 public
services
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Secondly
Linking Words
, funding
education
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 and
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
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 a good economic impact. Because people will pay for accessing
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
services
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 facilities, revenue
are being generate
Change the verb form
are being generated
are generating
show examples
 and
thus
Linking Words
 improving the economic status of the community.
For example
Linking Words
, About
2.5billion
Correct article usage
a 2.5billion
show examples
 pounds was generated by oxford university in 2021.
This
Linking Words
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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money generated can be used
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
further
Linking Words
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of both
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 and
health
Use synonyms
 sector to the world standard and
also
Linking Words
fund
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 other public
services
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
 it becomes apparent the authorities should
fund
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education
Use synonyms
 and
health
Use synonyms
care
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. In summary, funding of public
services
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 by
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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 gives equal access to quality
services
Use synonyms
 and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to generate income. It is
therefore
Linking Words
 agreed that authorities should
fund
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
care
Use synonyms
 system.
Submitted by emmyemark on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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