Nowdays, workplaces tend to employ equal numbers of men and women works. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#nowdays #workplaces #numbers #men #women #works #development

In the modern era, gender discrimination is decreasing than before. It is a breakthrough change in our society.

Although

some people think that

companies

should hire more male workers than female, workplaces are prioritizing men and

women

equality

. In my view, it is a positive step and can bring benefits to our society. When males and females are working together in one association, they earn exorbitant profits.

This

is simply because between them, good bonding grows up and they are discussing any issues with each other. They share effective ideas

also

For example

, in my office men and

women

ratio is 50:50. Because of

this

equality

, our

company

get lots of profit than before. When male staff does not work properly and gets distraction, they help them in every situation. Our

women

workers are co-operative. If the

company

will not hire

women

, they will not keep their position. That’s why every

company

should maintain

equality

On the other hand

, if

companies

circulated

equality

for men and

women

, they will save more valuable

time

. Man and

women

are working together and they will finish a large project on

time

. One kind of competition grows up between them and they successfully complete any complicated task by the deadline. In my country,

for instance

, most of the

time

we see, because of

this

less staff

company

will not finish their work in the

time

. Overseas buyers are so punctual and strict about dates. Because of

this

,lateness they cancel the deal and never bring any project to the same

company

. When

companies

hired equal males and females, they do not face

this

type of problem. In conclusion, every workplace should balance man and

women

equality

. While lots of

companies

achieve their goal doing

this

, why we will not follow

this

term? I strongly feel that we need to give value to

equality

, it will be worth full for every workplace.

Submitted by amijoyee on Tue Aug 09 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowdays, workplaces tend to employ equal numbers of men and women works. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

These days consumers are faced with an increasing amount of advertising from various company. To what extent do you think consumers are infuenced by advertising?What measures should be taken to prevent them?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages