IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nation should spend more money on vocational training rather than on university education. Would the advantages of these outweigh the disadvantages?

Every county contributes a significant amount of money to maintain a world-class
education
Use synonyms
 system. Many today feel that countries should prioritize skill training over higher
education
Use synonyms
. Here, I coincide that disbursing highly on technical training will be fruitful as
such
Linking Words
 practice would succour during the recession period,
also
Linking Words
 the unemployment problem of any country can be resolved.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend may impact the development of the country. It is irrefutable that, fighting against the downturn in the economy would be facile if people are equipped with the skill and vocation training for the actual world. Indeed, the confidence of working in a real environment boosts especially for those who are provided with
skills
Use synonyms
 training and during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the training they seem to be exposed to simulation scenarios in which they would have to deal with commonly occurred methods.
For example
Linking Words
, communication
skills
Use synonyms
 are indispensable while collaborating with a colleague or a client in the business world and if the right conversation
skills
Use synonyms
 are taught to individuals fighting against the bad economic times would be simpler as it will be possible to retain and convince people because of
this
Linking Words
 skill.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it would be possible to grasp the tactics of efficiently solving any problem and apply
such
Linking Words
 techniques later at work which in turn would reduce the employment problems of the country. With regards to vocational training, it can facilitate people to adapt quickly to practical worlds as trainers tend to be intensively trained in a specific vocational area. So, they can be self-employed. A recent analysis revealed that 90% of those graduates who developed soft
skills
Use synonyms
 were able to have an upper hand during their interview sessions as compared to those having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good university
degrees
Correct the article-noun agreement
degree
show examples
 only.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, higher
education
Use synonyms
 can lead to a competent workforce which can elevate the country’s
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 quickly. The fact is students at universities can furnish themselves with fundamentals which will allow them to approach job tasks systemically and they will have fewer opportunities to climb higher on their corporate ladder. A bachelorette or master’s degree in mechanical engineering would aid an individual to grab a white-collar job in a reputed company. In conclusion, undoubtedly vocational and
skills
Use synonyms
 training can bring positive impacts for new employees
thus
Linking Words
 the focus should not be just on
education
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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