IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that outdoor activities bring benefits to children's development rather than computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #activities #children #development #computer #games
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In general, a lot of
folk
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 like to do morning exercises every morning. Especially there is a
folk
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 saying that outside training is better for the young community than computer
games
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. I completely agree that outside exercise is beneficial to the
children
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 rather than
games
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 playing.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides of argues.
First
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 of all, most of the
folk
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 think that outside training is more advantageous to the
children
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 grow in fact than game playing.
Moreover
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, morning exercise is something that most people like to do every
day
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 in their life.
For example
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, a lot of people like to do running in the morning before they start their daily life. It is become a normal activity for most of them to do every
day
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.
On the other hand
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,
video
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games
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 are the most popular game that young
folk
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 like to do in their daily life. Now a
day
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, a lot of
children
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 like to be in the room playing on the computer without coming out of the room. They become an addictive player.
For instance
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, two-year
children
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also
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 became addictive playing
video
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games
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 now a
day
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. In conclusion, most people prefer morning exercise rather than
video
Use synonyms
games
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. In
this
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 ,essay we discuss both sides of the argument and we provide examples. On the
first
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 ,side we talk about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outdoor activity and
also
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 on another side we talk about
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Malakmaloke44 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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