Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Some people believe that this is an illness and should be treated medically. Others feel that this is only a result of unhealthy habits and it is sport that must help. Discuss both point of view and give your own opinion.

#childhood #obesity #countries #people #illness #habits #sport #point

this

modern era, lifestyle diseases are increasing a lot because of sedentary lifestyles and changes in

food

habits

. Among all the lifestyle diseases,

Obesity

is the most common and affecting and the

children

most. Some people think that

this

problem should be treated medically while some believe that making healthy

habits

and a healthy routine can solve

this

problem. I agree with the statement that,

obesity

is the result of unhealthy

habits

. In

this

essay, I will discuss both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sides,

with

Change preposition

from

show examples

my point of view.

Firstly

to begin

with,

the

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apply

show examples

obesity

, since it's a serious illness,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can cause other issues in the body

such

as heart disease, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol.

Therefore

, if in the starting we focus on reducing the extra fat from the body, we can prevent other diseases as well.

For instance

, my own cousin,

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is a teenager, but because of their addiction to fast

food

, he becomes

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apply

show examples

obese and has developed the problem of high cholesterol.

Hence

, he visited the doctor, who suggest

him

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

lose weight

first

and

also

prescribe some medicine. He is following the new and healthy routine now and seeing an improvement in his health.

Secondly

, is about unhealthy

habits

. Nowadays we see

children

playing video

games

, and mobile

games

and having more fast

food

in their

diet

rather than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

home-cooked

food

This

all is leading to

obesity

in them and other issues in the body. To crack

such

a situation, being active and having a healthy

diet

is the only solution.

For example

children

from their school days should be taught to have a healthy

diet

and should play

games

Change preposition

apply

show examples

outside than

the

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apply

show examples

indoor

games

. In conclusion, I believe that a healthy lifestyle and a healthy

diet

could solve the issue of

obesity

children

Therefore

, every child must learn these things as soon as possible for their good health.

Submitted by SV on Tue Aug 09 2022

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Some people believe that this is an illness and should be treated medically. Others feel that this is only a result of unhealthy habits and it is sport that must help. Discuss both point of view and give your own opinion.

nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed ?

Topic: Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, as women and men have to work full time, household duties should be equally divided. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Parents should encourage their children to spend less time on study and more time on doing physical activities. Do you agree or disagree?