IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prisoner sentence. Others think that there are better alternative ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion your opinion

#people #crime #prisoner #sentence #alternative
Some
people
 think that giving a longer prison sentence is the best way to reduce
crimes
 while others believe that there are other alternative ways to do it.
This
 essay will discuss both views but I disagree with the statement.
To begin
 with, some
people
 think that the best way to reduce
crime
 is giving longer prison punishment which I don'
t
 agree with at all because a person who is doing exactly knows he is going to get punished and still does the
crime
 so increasing punishment might not make any change in the mindset. To cite an example, a person before murder knows exactly he is going to get punished for a long time but still does.
Although
, some small kinds of
crimes
 can definitely decrease I don'
t
 think it could reduce the
crimes
 that much. On the other side, some
people
 think there are other alternative ways to reduce the
crimes
 in which governments can play a huge role by promoting harmony and a peaceful lifestyle and drafting laws
accordingly
 along with improvising the education sector so that most
people
 can get an education.
However
, having an educated population doesn'
t
 totally ensure that there won'
t
 be any
crime
 but it will definitely reduce the
crime
 rates by a huge margin. To sum up, there are a lot of alternative approaches which can be used to reduce
crimes
 than increasing prison punishment and I think the government and higher authorities should take certain steps to lower
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crimes
.
Submitted by nandujr067 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: