IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Te growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#te #growth #shops #towns #cities
It is predicted that in the near future, retail shops and shopping mall centres will be closed
due to
 the expansion of online shopping networks. I agree with
this
 opinion inasmuch as products can be found in more diversity, though the customers can save their time.
In addition
, stores in the cities and towns have more expenditure than online markets.
To begin
 with, recently
while
 online shops have been incredibly expanded in societies, the number of shopping centres have been decreased significantly.
As a result
, the costs that should be paid by a store owner are higher than the costs in webshops.
For instance
, a boutique will be charged for different aspects;
such
 as electricity, water and maintenance,
while
 an online shop can be managed remotely with a lower charge.
Therefore
, the owners would rather extend their online market by investing more in
this
 field and
then
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 more benefits.
Moreover
,
while
 recently, it can be seen that people intend to surf the internet to find the best option for their requirements, online webshops have been more popular among adults compared to stores in cities.
For example
, if someone wanted to buy a yellow dress, they would find it online easily by taking only some minutes,
whereas
 it would take so long in a city centre.
Furthermore
, individuals can not be sure whether they will find what they are looking for.
To conclude
, it is estimated that one day all malls will be closed and demand for buying online will rise. In my opinion, many women and men prefer to have more choices, and the internet provides them with many varieties in less than a second.
Thus
, the number of boutiques in different areas will be limited soon.
Submitted by neda.khn88 on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear position on the topic in the introduction and conclusion.
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