IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You are going to study in a college in the UK next year. You would like to stay in a college Hall of Residence. Write a letter to the college. In your letter explain your accommodation requirements explain what your food needs are ask what alternatives are available if they cannot provide what you want

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Dear Sir or Ma'am, I hope
this
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 letter finds you in good health. My name is Dhruvil, and I am admitted to your college for the upcoming year. My purpose of writing today is to request accommodation at the college Hall of Residence formally. I am looking for a private room for my stay, but if the college requires me to share with somebody, I am
also
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 flexible with that option. As I am enrolled as a full-time student, I will be attending in-person classes for five days. It will be best if you allocate a room close to the Science building. I was brought up in a vegetarian family, and even in my religion, it is a sin to consume non-vegetarian food. I can adapt to any food, but it should be vegetarian. Kindly help me with the requirements mentioned above at your earliest convenience. Unfortunately, if you cannot meet my demands, please suggest some better options. I would really appreciate your help. Yours sincerely, Dhruvilkumar Patel

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains one clear idea or subject, and maintain logical sequencing of those ideas for optimal coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using varied transitional phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly, which aids the reader in following your arguments and requests.
Task Achievement
Address all components of the task with clear details; you have done well in explaining your requirements, continue to provide specific examples or preferences to support your requests where possible.
Task Achievement
Maintain an appropriate tone throughout your letter; your tone is largely fitting for formal correspondence, but always ensure to avoid colloquial language in formal letters.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Hall of Residence
  • accommodation requirements
  • proximity
  • en-suite facilities
  • special accommodations
  • dietary restrictions
  • meal plans
  • kitchen facilities
  • campus canteens
  • securing accommodations
  • alternative housing options
  • private rentals
  • off-campus housing
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