It is important for children to learn the diffirence between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There is no doubt that maternity and paternity raising ways play a radical role in their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
stability and future. Some people argue that punishing kids have many benefits. Whilst others claim that negative consequences outweigh the positive ones. In
this
essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
am going to discuss both views and draw my own conclusion. On the one hand,
punish
Wrong verb form
punishing
show examples
children
leads to plethora
advantages
Change preposition
of advantages
show examples
. They learn how to be
Wrong verb form
disciplined
show examples
discipline
Correct your spelling
disciplined
show examples
and assist them to be successful persons in their future
also
it guides them and help them to make their correct choices in life,
moreover
strict families
teaches
Change the verb form
teach
show examples
their offspring rules and values. As a shining example, a recent study
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
published by king Saud University claims that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
prominent
Add an article
the prominent
show examples
individuals were raised in strict families with strict rules. On the other flip of the coin, strictness and hardness might leads to mental and social issues
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
children
like unstable personalities or lack of confidence.
Therefore
, numerous individuals who suffered from hitting and emotionless families have an
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
with unstable
Correct your spelling
emotions
emothions
Correct your spelling
emotions
and weird
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
For instance
, my friend Sara has
struggle
Change the verb form
struggled
show examples
with nightmares
when
Correct word choice
since
show examples
she was a child due to the way that her mother used to treat her and now she is suffering from panic attacks and taking
psychatric
Correct your spelling
psychiatric
medications. In conclusion,
children
navigating and punishing have many merits.
However
, negative consequences have been shown
last
decade on their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Therefore
, I strongly believe parents should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
discipline
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their offspring and guide them without harsh punishments or abuse
Submitted by hno_aaa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: