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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people
Fame, glory
as well as opulence
Add the comma(s)
, as well as opulence,
show examples
 have always been a part of the superstars’ world. Certainly,
people
 have been concerned with these aspects being the only ones needed to become well known, rather than accomplishments, which has negative impacts on youngsters. In
this
 essay, I will explain why I concur with
this
 point of view.
To begin
 with, when celebrities are only recognized for their glamour and wealth, it has detrimental effects on teenagers as it illustrates that achievements are not important,
moreover
 that there is no need for hard work in life. By only posting superficial elements of their life, influencers are sending the wrong message. Since only a small proportion of
people
 trying to become famous will be, the value of perseverance should be transmitted to encourage young
people
 to push through deception and keep fighting towards their goals.
Although
 money does not buy happiness, the image
that is
 sent to young
people
 by influencers is that goods and money will make you happy,
therefore
 encouraging them to buy many products in order to attain pleasure. The message
that is
then
 conveyed is that objects will make
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 content.
As a result
, many teens do not feel entitled to joy if they cannot purchase the product
that is
 advertised by the celebrity, which can lead to anxiety and depression. Rather than linking positive emotions to material belongings, young
people
 have to learn about the value of interpersonal relationships as well as personal achievements. In conclusion, accomplishments and talent should be the reasons why someone becomes famous.
Otherwise
, it sets a damaging example for teens and young adults as it shows that hard work is not important and it puts pressure to find happiness through objects.
Submitted by emilie.langis on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
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