Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

Fame, glory

as well as opulence

Add the comma(s)

, as well as opulence,

show examples

have always been a part of the superstars’ world. Certainly,

people

have been concerned with these aspects being the only ones needed to become well known, rather than accomplishments, which has negative impacts on youngsters. In

this

essay, I will explain why I concur with

this

point of view.

To begin

with, when celebrities are only recognized for their glamour and wealth, it has detrimental effects on teenagers as it illustrates that achievements are not important,

moreover

that there is no need for hard work in life. By only posting superficial elements of their life, influencers are sending the wrong message. Since only a small proportion of

people

trying to become famous will be, the value of perseverance should be transmitted to encourage young

people

to push through deception and keep fighting towards their goals.

Although

money does not buy happiness, the image

that is

sent to young

people

by influencers is that goods and money will make you happy,

therefore

encouraging them to buy many products in order to attain pleasure. The message

that is

then

conveyed is that objects will make

you

Change the pronoun

your

show examples

content.

As a result

, many teens do not feel entitled to joy if they cannot purchase the product

that is

advertised by the celebrity, which can lead to anxiety and depression. Rather than linking positive emotions to material belongings, young

people

have to learn about the value of interpersonal relationships as well as personal achievements. In conclusion, accomplishments and talent should be the reasons why someone becomes famous.

Otherwise

, it sets a damaging example for teens and young adults as it shows that hard work is not important and it puts pressure to find happiness through objects.

Submitted by emilie.langis on Tue Aug 09 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Other, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Freedom of speech is vital in free society? Do you agree or disagree?

Parents should spend more time with their children helping them with their homework. Do you agree or disagree?

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.