More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities to look for work. What will be the consequences of this?What solution can you offer?

The number of people who decided to change their occupation

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is dramatically accelerating day by day due to some reasons.

The most

Correct article usage

Most

show examples

of them are engrossed in

to get

Change the verb form

getting

show examples

offers from jobs in the metropolitan rather than

suburb

Replace the word

suburban

show examples

areas. The particular desirable

as well as undesirable results

Add the comma(s)

, as well as undesirable results,

show examples

can be greatly attributed to

this

Linking Words

tendency.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, some strategies can profoundly help to facilitate

existing

Add an article

the existing

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

. To embark on, nowadays,

life

Replace the word

living

show examples

standards are obviously higher in cities rather than regions. Due to

this

Linking Words

clause, a prodigious number of villagers have decided to change their lifestyle, albeit so challenging, for monetary purposes.

This

Linking Words

action can inevitably deteriorate the economy of agriculture. It, in

turns

Fix the agreement mistake

turn

show examples

, will truly exacerbate the unemployment level in villages.

In other words

Linking Words

, in case all occupants leave these areas, but for having no sufficient work

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

, several workplaces may close down their branches

accordingly

Linking Words

. Significantly, its influence is vitally great on

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

budget, as profits may seemingly fall off in

suburb

Replace the word

suburban

show examples

areas. Since it has become

exceedingly

Add an article

an exceedingly

show examples

arduous issue, officials have decided to get on with effective strategies in order to figure out

this

Linking Words

. There are several methods that should be implemented and may result in superior consequences.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the investments ought to be risen greatly

Change preposition

for

show examples

purpose

Add an article

the purpose

show examples

of increasing the number of job opportunities all over the country. By the means of

this

Linking Words

, there is no need for villagers to look for any extra paid jobs far from their accommodations.

Secondly

Linking Words

, it can be considered as one and the significant result of

Linking Words

first

Change the article

the first

show examples

measure that the annual payment can

be slightly surged

Change to the active voice

slightly surge

show examples

. Above all, it helps governments to widely

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

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their profits

through

Change preposition

throughout

show examples

the countries. To sum up, it is inevitable that due to experiencing relentless conditions in

countryside

Add an article

the countryside

show examples

, for changing their lifestyle

Remove the article

apply

show examples

plenty of them are perfectly willing to move cities.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, it can be tackled by applying special tactics,

for instance

Linking Words

, increasing the salary or creating new places for employees.

l.rafik

Aug 10, 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

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The working week should be shorter and workers should have longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?