IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subject that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

#people #university #students #study #future #science #technology
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While there are some
people
Use synonyms
 who think that university students should
study
Use synonyms
 subjects that will be helpful in the future
such
Linking Words
 as science and technology, others say that young
people
Use synonyms
 should be free to choose whatever they like. I strongly agree with
Linking Words
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
 statement, and I believe a balanced country needs
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of fields. All students should have
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
 to choose their university field, and It is a basic need of humanity. Any idea against
this
Linking Words
 approach can be cruel, and cause damage to society.
Firstly
Linking Words
, making pupils
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
study
Use synonyms
 what they don't like just for future benefits can produce useless individuals. Many of them will not be able to finish their
study
Use synonyms
 and others will not be productive.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it can lead to depression among
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
show examples
 want to
study
Use synonyms
 certain fields.
For example
Linking Words
, a person who
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to
study
Use synonyms
 painting will be upset and leave
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college if he or she
connot
Correct your spelling
can not
 do that. The majority of subjects are crucial for society including science, art, medical and human science. In my opinion, all these fields are important, and each has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own benefits to a community.
For instance
Linking Words
, phycology can help
people
Use synonyms
 to live happier, and technology brings convenience.
In addition
Linking Words
, a balanced culture needs a variety of active
people
Use synonyms
 who work in various jobs. A country needs doctors as well as drivers. In conclusion, I completely disagree with the idea that
say
Change the verb form
says
show examples
 students must be allowed to
study
Use synonyms
 certain matters, and I believe that the best way to have a more active country is giving the
people
Use synonyms
 an opportunity to pick what they want.
Submitted by omid.afsharpour on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: