IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #time
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It is believed by some people that being wealthy and having less
time
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 is better than having more
time
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 and being less wealthy. From my perspective, I partly agree with
this
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 as I argue that having
time
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 and
money
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 are equally important.
To begin
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 with, there are several reasons why people might believe that being wealthy is more important.
Firstly
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, having a lot of
money
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 might help people to have a stress-free
life
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.
This
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 is because individuals could buy whatever they want to fulfil their everyday demands.
As a result
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, it gives them the privilege of living a luxurious
life
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, leading to
a
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apply
show examples
possible stress-free
life
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.
Lastly
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, individuals who are not as wealthy might have to work day and night for
money
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, resulting in them not being able to make
time
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 for themselves.
On the other hand
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, I believe that spending long hours at work and not enjoying
life
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 is the wrong outlook on
life
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.
Time
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 is the most valuable resource in
life
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. One can use the
time
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 that they have to make
money
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, but can not use that
money
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 to buy more
time
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. Spending
time
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 with your family and loved ones should be prioritised over anything else.
This
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 is because
money
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 can be made, while moments with loved ones can not be found again once it is lost.
In other words
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,
life
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 would be meaningless if one only focuses on work. In conclusion, having
money
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 is important to fulfil our demands
of
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apply
show examples
ourselves, but without
time
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, it is meaningless.
Submitted by ngoclamthieunang on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
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