Young people are much more aware of and concerned about issues like the environment, poverty, and animal welfare than previous generations. What is your own opinion?
Recently we may often see a young environmental
activist
or animal protection activist
on the news. It makes us believe that more and more young people
are joining those protests and younger generations are more environmentally conscience than the older generations. However
, I would suggest the
powerful natural consciences are not necessarily associated with youth or generation but Correct your spelling
that
the
social or educational background Correct word choice
with the
people
had
.
Wrong verb form
have
First,
the educational system which often puts stress on an environmental issue is a critical motivation for children to worry about our natural resources. For instance
, I began to think about Japanese natural resources only after I learned about the idea of natural protection at my elementary school. In almost all countries, children take primary education in school, and the curriculum has an enormous impact on them throughout their life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
It
is no question Correct pronoun usage
There
if
some of the children who took environmental-focused education would become an Correct word choice
that
activist
for animal preservation or global warming.
Second,
the rapid improvement in communication technology enables people
to share the
environmental news and make an ally with Correct article usage
apply
people
all over the world without hardships, and especially juveniles make the best use of it. Cloud funding is one example of raising a fund for environmental action. My friend earns some budget for natural protection work through cloud funding. People
who have similar interests or tastes often build a community on Social media like Facebook and Twitter. For example
, the news of the southern
California wildfire was globally shared immediately Capitalize word
Southern
it
happened. Another fact is that the young Swedish Correct word choice
after it
activist
, Greta Thunberg uses Twitter so effectively to deliver her belief and gain financial and physical support. Her tweets had a great influence to the extent that the US president reacted.
To conclude
, the
education system of modern technologies, young Change preposition
in the
people
are accustomed to the main advantages for young people
to conduct environmental actions.
The more people
there are at the
young age in those actions, the more impact Correct article usage
a
created
in the next generation, which Add a missing verb
is created
consequently
makes the positive cycle to tackle environmental problems.Submitted by momokonakaoka on
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task response
Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task. You present relevant arguments and examples that support your position.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical progression of ideas and effectively uses transitions to connect and support your main points. However, ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more explicit and connected to the overall discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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