IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some believe that showing people happy pictures (pictures in which outstanding achievements are made in helping the poor) is more effective in encouraging them to take action to solve poverty than sad pictures ( that show how hard life can be for the poor). Do you agree or disagree? Why?

While
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 encouraging people to join the battle against poverty and inequality, we can choose one of two main tactics
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 So, we can appeal to the emotions of others by showing them disturbing, terrifying images that reflect the real situation.
On the contrary
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, it is possible to concentrate on the happy scenes and results of the work already done. Both of them have their pros and cons that need to be properly
analyzed
Use the right word
analysed
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while
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 choosing the most effective way to engage more individuals. On the one hand, by distributing sad or sometimes extremely depressive
content
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content,
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 we show the reality of what is happening.
Moreover
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, it helps to calculate the amount of money required and prove that assistance is crucially needed as soon as possible.
For example
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, in Ukraine, there is no lack of food or resources
,
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;
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nevertheless
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, videos and photos of the war realities shared on social media demonstrate the constant cry for help and attract attention on a global scale.
On the other hand
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, after some period of
time
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time,
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 human beings tend to get tired of the negativity and try to limit it in their news bubble.
Therefore
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, pictures of volunteers or the results of their efforts will be more engaging in the long run.
Thus
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, taking into consideration that the fight against poverty and hunger is endless, it would be more useful to choose
this
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 tactic.
For instance
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, I am more willing to contribute and make a donation when I see an
organization
Use the right word
organisation
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 that has already established its work in the region and made a real difference because I can trust it and see where
will my money
Correct word order
my money will
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 go.
To sum up
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, there are two main approaches in the media and social campaigns against poverty. For sure, the most
practicable
Correct word choice
practical
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 way is to combine both of them, though if we need to choose only one
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then
Punctuation problem
, then
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 sharing positive pictures and videos would be more helpful in the long-term activity.

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coherence
Make sure each paragraph clearly connects to your main idea. You have good points, but some ideas could be linked better.
task achievement
Add a few more examples or details to show your points well. This can help make your ideas clearer.
positive
You present a balanced view with good arguments on both sides. This shows your understanding of the topic well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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