Nowadays, technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In our modern society, the number of monitoring has been
Correct your spelling
widespread
widspread
Correct your spelling
widespread
even though
people
usually do not notice it. Some
people
agree with
this
situation ,
Correct word choice
but still
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still
Add a comma
,still
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others feel annoying it. From my point of view, the advantages of
this
development outweigh the disadvantages.
First
of all, increasing
of
Change preposition
apply
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monitoring can reduce the
crime
rate
dramatically.
For instance
, China
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
the highest number of monitoring cameras all over the place
is
Correct word choice
and is
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famous for the lowest
crime
rate
in the world. Most
people
do not try to commit a
crime
because they have an idea that they can not escape from the checking of the monitoring
system
.
Therefore
,
this
makes clear that the
crime
rate
is decreased thanks to the monitoring technology.
Moreover
, we can find the person who did a
crime
more easily because of the monitoring
system
.
For instance
,
a
Remove the article
apply
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recent research conducted by United Nations in 2020 has reported that the countries with a large number of monitoring cameras have higher scores regarding catching
people
who committed a
crime
compared to countries with a poor monitoring environment.
Thus
, it becomes apparent that the monitoring
system
is significantly useful for keeping our life safe. To sum up, we discussed the advantages of
the
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apply
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monitoring in terms of the low
crime
rate
and the high percentage
for
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of
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catching criminal
people
.
Therefore
,I totally agree with the statement that the merits of the development outweigh the demerits for these two reasons, After a thorough analysis of
this
subject, it is predicted that the
system
will broaden around the world in the future.
Submitted by lyu on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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