Nowadays, technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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In our modern society, the number of monitoring has been
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widespread
widspread
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widespread
even though
people
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usually do not notice it. Some
people
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agree with
this
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situation ,
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but still
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still
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,still
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others feel annoying it. From my point of view, the advantages of
this
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development outweigh the disadvantages.
First
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of all, increasing
of
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apply
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monitoring can reduce the
crime
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rate
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dramatically.
For instance
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, China
having
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has
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the highest number of monitoring cameras all over the place
is
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and is
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famous for the lowest
crime
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rate
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in the world. Most
people
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do not try to commit a
crime
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because they have an idea that they can not escape from the checking of the monitoring
system
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.
Therefore
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,
this
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makes clear that the
crime
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rate
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is decreased thanks to the monitoring technology.
Moreover
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, we can find the person who did a
crime
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more easily because of the monitoring
system
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.
For instance
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,
a
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apply
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recent research conducted by United Nations in 2020 has reported that the countries with a large number of monitoring cameras have higher scores regarding catching
people
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who committed a
crime
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compared to countries with a poor monitoring environment.
Thus
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, it becomes apparent that the monitoring
system
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is significantly useful for keeping our life safe. To sum up, we discussed the advantages of
the
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apply
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monitoring in terms of the low
crime
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rate
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and the high percentage
for
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of
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catching criminal
people
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.
Therefore
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,I totally agree with the statement that the merits of the development outweigh the demerits for these two reasons, After a thorough analysis of
this
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subject, it is predicted that the
system
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will broaden around the world in the future.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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