Nowadays, technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In our modern society, the number of monitoring has been
Correct your spelling
widespread
widspread
even though Correct your spelling
widespread
people
usually do not notice it. Some people
agree with this
situation ,Correct word choice
but still
still
others feel annoying it. From my point of view, the advantages of Add a comma
,still
this
development outweigh the disadvantages.
First
of all, increasing of
monitoring can reduce the Change preposition
apply
crime
rate
dramatically. For instance
, China having
the highest number of monitoring cameras all over the place Wrong verb form
has
is
famous for the lowest Correct word choice
and is
crime
rate
in the world. Most people
do not try to commit a crime
because they have an idea that they can not escape from the checking of the monitoring system
. Therefore
, this
makes clear that the crime
rate
is decreased thanks to the monitoring technology.
Moreover
, we can find the person who did a crime
more easily because of the monitoring system
. For instance
, a
recent research conducted by United Nations in 2020 has reported that the countries with a large number of monitoring cameras have higher scores regarding catching Remove the article
apply
people
who committed a crime
compared to countries with a poor monitoring environment. Thus
, it becomes apparent that the monitoring system
is significantly useful for keeping our life safe.
To sum up, we discussed the advantages of the
monitoring in terms of the low Correct article usage
apply
crime
rate
and the high percentage for
catching criminal Change preposition
of
people
. Therefore
,I totally agree with the statement that the merits of the development outweigh the demerits for these two reasons, After a thorough analysis of this
subject, it is predicted that the system
will broaden around the world in the future.Submitted by lyu on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite