Some people believe that sports competition are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore youth should be banned from participating in sports competition. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #sports #competition #source #stress #youth

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is believed that

sports

competition causes stress in the youth

thus

they must not be allowed to take

part

sports

matches. In my opinion, there are some reasons why I disagree with

this

idea. Namely, it is a good way to release excitement positively, young people need the

amount

of competition.

However

, some individuals have a different point of view that will be discussed in the following essay. Every year many

sports

events are held all over the world. I believe it has some benefits for adolescents.

Initially

, they are full of energy and need a suitable place for showing it and

sports

matches because of the health benefits that have for their bodies and minds

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

a good place , if younger people do not release their energies in these types of physical activities , they would take

part

in some illegal works .

Additionally

, a medium

amount

of competition is useful for the youth because it makes them motivated to try harder for their goals

Correct your spelling

For

for instance

when a young individual watches a soccer match, they become persuaded to take

part

in some physical activities .

On the other hand

, it is believed that these kinds of matches have some drawbacks ,especially for teenagers,

firstly

because the

amount

of excitement in

sports

matches is high and

thus

has bad effects on their minds,

for example

, some soccer lovers because of the high

amount

of stress in plays hurt themself or destroy public properties .

secondly

, these competitions usually are addictive and teenagers are likely to spend too much time on them . In conclusion, the benefits of

sports

matches are more than their drawbacks if individuals can control the

amount

of taking

part

in them .

Submitted by ranjbari4526 on Thu Aug 11 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear introduction that states your opinion clearly and a conclusion that summarizes your main points.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments and make sure they are relevant to the topic.

task achievement

Good job in presenting both sides of the argument.

coherence cohesion

You have a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
In this contemporary world, obesity and low fitness levels among people are surging day by day. In a few nations, fitness levels are declining , and the medium body weights of the masses are increasing. This essay will discuss the probable reason for this , and how this complication can be tackled in a positive manner.
5
band
Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
In the 21st century, construction industries are ever-increasing. Some people argue that, old structures and homes in towns have to be demolished and new buildings need to be erected, while others hold the view that such buildings should be protected. Both sides of this argument will be analyzed before a conclusion is made.
<4
band
Some people think that it is more important to plant trees in open areas of town and cities than to build more housing . To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are citicsen beliving that it is more convinenent to plant trees and green areas in open areas around cities and twon insted of building more housing and cemint building, and I strongly agree to that for certine reason.
<4
band
Overall, men are more satisfied with local conditions than women.
Both genders considered street lighting systems good (64 per cent for men and 63 per cent for women) with only 19 and 22 per cent respectively thinking it was poor. By contrast, while the same pattern is seen for crime levels, the proportion of both sexes thinking it was poor was much higher (32 per cent for men and 31 per cent for women); the latter also felt less satisfied when only 40 per cent of them were satisfied compared with men at 46 per cent. There is a big difference between women’s satisfaction with railway station safety compared to men, 32 per cent compared to 48 per cent for men.
7.5
band
Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with a friend. He/She has just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter ● thank him/her for the photos and for the holiday ● explain why you didn’t write earlier ● invite them to come and stay with you
I hope you are doing great, I have just seen our photos and I have to admit you are a very talented photographer.

Some people believe that sports competition are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore youth should be banned from participating in sports competition. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is more important to plant trees in open areas of town and cities than to build more housing . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Overall, men are more satisfied with local conditions than women.