Some people believe that sports competition are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore youth should be banned from participating in sports competition. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed that

sports

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competition causes stress in the youth

thus

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they must not be allowed to take

part

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sports

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matches. In my opinion, there are some reasons why I disagree with

this

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idea. Namely, it is a good way to release excitement positively, young people need the

amount

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of competition.

However

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, some individuals have a different point of view that will be discussed in the following essay. Every year many

sports

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events are held all over the world. I believe it has some benefits for adolescents.

Initially

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, they are full of energy and need a suitable place for showing it and

sports

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matches because of the health benefits that have for their bodies and minds

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

a good place , if younger people do not release their energies in these types of physical activities , they would take

part

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in some illegal works .

Additionally

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, a medium

amount

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of competition is useful for the youth because it makes them motivated to try harder for their goals

Correct your spelling

For

for instance

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when a young individual watches a soccer match, they become persuaded to take

part

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in some physical activities .

On the other hand

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, it is believed that these kinds of matches have some drawbacks ,especially for teenagers,

firstly

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because the

amount

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of excitement in

sports

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matches is high and

thus

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has bad effects on their minds,

for example

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, some soccer lovers because of the high

amount

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of stress in plays hurt themself or destroy public properties .

secondly

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, these competitions usually are addictive and teenagers are likely to spend too much time on them . In conclusion, the benefits of

sports

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matches are more than their drawbacks if individuals can control the

amount

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of taking

part

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in them .

ranjbari4526Thu Aug 11 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear introduction that states your opinion clearly and a conclusion that summarizes your main points.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments and make sure they are relevant to the topic.

task achievement

Good job in presenting both sides of the argument.

coherence cohesion

You have a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Some people believe that sports competition are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore youth should be banned from participating in sports competition. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is it a negative or positive development? Give your explanation using some relevant examples from your experience.

Some people think that cars should be banned from city centers to reduce pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree to disagree with this statement?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first sentence. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem