Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative

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In some countries, it is believed that young people should take a

gap

Use synonyms

year

Use synonyms

after finishing school and before the start of higher education.

This

Linking Words

trend would create certain benefits, but there will

also

Linking Words

be some drawbacks. In

this

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essay, I would like to discuss both the merits and demerits of the phenomenon.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are some crowd who advocate taking a

gap

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year

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. One argument in favour of

this

Linking Words

is that it can have a beneficial impact on young people’s personal development.

This

Linking Words

means that they are likely to become more mature when they are obliged to fulfil certain responsibilities at work.

In addition

Linking Words

, the young community can find their passion by working in a variety of fields and industries.

This

Linking Words

will enable them to make a good choice when it comes to choosing what subjects they should specialize in at university.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they will

also

Linking Words

become more open-minded as they will learn to appreciate cultural diversity through travelling to foreign countries, where they will be exposed to different cultural and social norms.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, It is assumed that students could fall behind in their

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

if they take a

gap

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year

Use synonyms

, which means

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

one of which is the possibility of losing interest in higher education as they might be tempted by the income they are earning from their jobs. If so,

this

Linking Words

can have a profound negative impact on their future prospects because for high school graduates, job options are limited and the kinds of jobs available to them are generally labour-intensive and basic.

Moreover

Linking Words

, being immature and naive, the young community might be influenced by bad people whom they come across while working or travelling so there is a chance that they might end up becoming drug addicts or law-breakers.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they will be left behind in their study by their peers who will have already graduated when they will still be university students, making them feel inferior and unmotivated.

Therefore

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, it is a sensible idea to pursue tertiary education right after finishing high school. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

there are some dangers

such

Linking Words

as the possibility of affecting their future career, there are

also

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positive effects since they can develop desirable qualities and find out their interests and talents by taking a

gap

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year

Use synonyms

Submitted by trancaomaitrang on Thu Aug 11 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

383 words

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Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

The top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is better to build new museums and town halls instead of renovating the old ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people aroung the world use social media every day to keep in touch with others people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Some People think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?