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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #media #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #ability #form #relationships
There are many
people
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
show examples
 that social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 can improve
teenager
Replace the word
teenage
show examples
 relationships.
However
, some
people
 think
that is
 bad for them. In my opinion, I completely think that social media is good for children to improve their relationships with
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
.
Firstly
, there are a lot of different
people
 who like to play
social
Change preposition
on social
show examples
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 in different countries. So, when children use
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, like Facebook, Twitter or Telegram, they can make many new
friends
.
Although
 there are some bad
people
.
For example
, I like using
telegram
Fix the agreement mistake
telegrams
show examples
 to make
friends
. They not only come from local but
also
 come from different countries,
such
 as Australia, USA and Japan.
Therefore
, I think
people
 can meet
friends
 on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
. Secondarily, there are some
people
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
show examples
 that they cannot meet new
friends
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
social
Add an article
the social
a social
show examples
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
.
However
,
people
 not only can meet
friends
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online but
also
 can invest them to job some activities in
real
Add an article
the real
show examples
 world.
For example
, I have two to three telegram groups. They like to open some activities to let
people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
join that like hiking, playing
Correct your spelling
board games
show examples
boardgames
Correct your spelling
board games
show examples
 and birthday
party
Fix the agreement mistake
parties
show examples
. In these activities, I meet a lot of new
friends
. I can deeply to know more about them or know more
each
Change preposition
about each
show examples
 other like what they like. So, I think
social
Add an article
the social
show examples
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 can allow us to become
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
closer
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other To conclude, I think teenagers can make different
friends
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
build up relation in online. It is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
one of the good ways to allow
people
 to make
friends
.
Submitted by fkamn12354 on

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I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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