“Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree.

This
goes without saying that the prevention of various diseases is a viable and cheaper option than spending a huge chunk of money on its treatment. In my opinion, the cost should be allocated
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
specialised sectors
such
as education and physical sports to promote
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
and to discourage unhealthy choices
for example
tobacco. One way of promoting knowledge is to create mandatory programs for kids from
elementary
Correct article usage
the elementary
show examples
level would provide self-awareness
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. The reason behind
this
idea is to make them aware of the choices they will make and how
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
will affect their lives.
This
will
also
develop a sense of
self care
Add a hyphen
self-care
show examples
both towards themselves
as well as
in their surroundings.
Secondly
, it has
also
been seen that many researchers and scientists conduct studies and spend years and years to obtain results, and upon
final
Correct article usage
the final
show examples
step they discover that not only the methods have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
failed but
also
they are dangerous for future generations. These
life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
show examples
issues could make children
disable
Wrong verb form
disabled
show examples
from birth.
Lastly
, research and exploration for any disease demand exorbitant investment. Both in terms of money and time,
hence
Rephrase
apply
show examples
it may end up bankrupting any
countries
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country's
show examples
assets and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
wealth.
For instance
, the recent pandemic caused
uncontrollable
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an uncontrollable
the uncontrollable
show examples
crisis in developing and underdeveloped countries for the sake of creating one “vaccine”.
Till
Change preposition
To
show examples
date
Add a comma
date,
show examples
many countries are still facing issues economically and financially.
To conclude
, big organizations and governments should allocate a large quota of investment in programs which help
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
the illness from
beginning
Add an article
the beginning
show examples
.
This
measure will help
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
the cost of expensive treatments
as well as
create
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
the healthy
show examples
educated environment.
Submitted by awannadianazir on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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