Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making traditions aimed at tourists. Others, however, believe that it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #traditions #tourists

Nowadays, travelling has been the most popular thing everyone enjoys doing in their leisure time. They love exploring new places, experiencing different cultures, and seeking adventures. In order to meet the traveller's demands, many cultural

traditions

are modified for commercialization. Some people think that cultural

traditions

may be destroyed when they are used as money-making

traditions

aimed at tourists. Others,

however

, believe that it is the only way to save these

traditions

. In my opinion, both views are true to a certain extent. On the one hand, lots of traditional customs only appeared on special occasions, now they happen more often.

This

change not only gives a bad impression to foreign visitors but

also

makes the customs less meaningful to the locals.

Also

, uncontrolled tourism causes irreparable damage to heritage sites.

For instance

, some tourists carve their names into rock art to mark their journey when they aren’t allowed to do it.

On the other hand

, there are several reasons why monetizing cultural

traditions

is the only way to protect them. The increase in visitor numbers provides funds for protection and restoration. It

also

promotes cultural values and supports local handicrafts.

Moreover

, making money from cultural

traditions

puts it in public display,

this

will provide more knowledge and awareness for people. In conclusion, using cultural

traditions

as money-making attractions has both positive and negative impacts.

Therefore

, it is crucial to strike a balance in how these

traditions

are monetized, ensuring they are preserved

while

retaining their intrinsic value.

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task achievement

To achieve an even higher score, try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help in making your points more compelling and grounded.

coherence cohesion

Although the essay is well-structured, using more transitional phrases can help improve the coherence further. Phrases like 'nevertheless,' 'moreover,' and 'in contrast' can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.

task achievement

Try to elaborate a bit more on the negative impacts mentioned and balance them with real-world examples. This will provide a deeper understanding and improve the comprehensiveness of your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Both the introduction and conclusion are strong, providing a good frame for your essay. They effectively introduce the topic and summarize your position.

task achievement

You have provided a well-rounded discussion by acknowledging both sides of the argument before presenting your own opinion. This is excellent for task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making traditions aimed at tourists. Others, however, believe that it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Car owner ship has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now one big traffic jam How true do you think this statement is What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars

News stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+