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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.

#computers #part #education
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It's considered that computers are becoming an important part of students' education. I agree that they are essential during study life. I will discuss both sides of the advantages, like preparing the next generation for future jobs and getting information from the internet, and the disadvantages
such
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 as being open to a dangerous world and addiction of the child to it.
Firstly
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, it is beneficial for students to study computer science to be ready for future jobs. In
another word
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, when learning how to use programs, like Microsoft Office and others related to the development of their ability like typing or photoshopping they will be able to compete in the work world after graduation. A second strong reason is that students will learn how to use the internet to gain information. To illustrate, there are some subjects which require doing some research like history or arts, and using the network will help them complete their studies about the certain subject.
On the other hand
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, using a computer has some drawbacks, especially for a young age student who can't differentiate right from wrong. Learning how to use the internet will aid
to open
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in opening
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 word doors from inside homes which could be dangerous for kids.
For example
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, there are some websites where
it
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that
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contains
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contain
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 inappropriate subjects or violence, and
this
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 is unacceptable to be watched by a child.
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Also
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As
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,
as
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well as
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 games and YouTube channels. both can be addictive. It could be seen that
most
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for most
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 of the children who have computers or mobile phones it is hard to deal with them and not easy to drag them into activities.
To conclude
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, I think including CPU in the study is important.
However
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, it can be harmful to children to open world doors, but it is a good way to teach them how to do research and be prepared for life after graduation.
Submitted by Fatima Sami on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly introduces the topic and provides a clear thesis statement. Also, make sure to conclude the essay effectively by summarizing the main points and restating the opinion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your arguments. Ensure that all points directly address the question prompt and maintain a consistent focus on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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