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Writing Samples
Band 7

Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two thirds of children are now obese. schools have a responsibility to minitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. to what extent do you agree with this statement?

#childhood #obesity #australia #two #thirds #children #schools #responsibility #minitor #students #amount #exercise
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Child
obesity
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 is an evil problem in the young generation. In Australia, child
obesity
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 is becoming increasingly problematic. Almost 33% youngers are suffering from overweight. Some people believe that it is the responsibility of
schools
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 to keep eye on what their students eat and what is the range of their exercise.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why I completely disagree with
this
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 statement because
schools
Use synonyms
 have nothing to do with someone's diet and exercise schedule.
First
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 and foremost, learning knowledge is the main goal of educational institutes, because there is a lot of difference between a school teacher and a gym instructor.
For example
Linking Words
, in
schools
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, youngsters learn a wide range of knowledge from teachers and
also
Linking Words
 they can build a career with the help of educational institutes but
schools
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 have nothing to do with the amount of food a student eats. To sum up, it is stupidity to blame
schools
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 for the
obesity
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 of
children
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.
In contrast
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,
parents
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 are responsible for
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Children
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 will buy both food and pay the gym fee with their
parents
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' money. So it is the responsibility of
parents
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 to check the diet plan of their
children
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 and they have to motivate their
children
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 for doing some healthy exercise and
also
Linking Words
 for playing different games.
For example
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, if
parents
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 stop paying money for
children
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's junk foods despise using
this
Linking Words
 money for their health because it will be very beneficial. In short,
parents
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 can play a considerable role in maintaining the body of youngsters. In conclusion, a lot of people consider
schools
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 responsible for
obesity
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 in
children
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. In my opinion, it is just a myth. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
schools
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 are only for providing better education and knowledge.
Submitted by mohammadkashif934 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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