IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that young people are suitable for learning foreign languages. Some people think adults are more suitable. Discuss both and give your opinion.

#people #languages #adults
It is believed by a few individuals that learning a non-native
language
 is suitable for adolescents.
While
 others believe grown-ups are the ones who are appropriate to do
this
. In my opinion, youngsters do not find any difficulties
while
 pursuing it because their brain activity is faster than adults .
This
 essay will examine both views, which
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be followed by relative examples.
Firstly
, time is the key rule for opportuning a new thing. Children always have ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time to learn different things.
However
, grown-ups do not have much time because they will have their work to do and the ability to adapt to things would be predominantly difficult, but it differs from age to age.
For example
, I learnt Hindi when I was studying 11th std and, I did not find any discomfort
while
 learning it.
However
, now I am facing difficulties
to adopt
Change preposition
in adopting
show examples
 a new
language
 in my 50s. The more we grow old, the less we attain. Real-life experience is significant for us to learn the lexical resources of a
language
. Adults have the opportunity to pursue it because in an organisation many people would have come from different countries.
Therefore
, men/women can adapt it by communicating with them and it will ameliorate the range and accuracy of a learning
language
. To illustrate
this
, My dad can speak five languages with proper pronunciation and those he learned
while
 he was working in an MNC company. The more we
experienced
Wrong verb form
experience
show examples
, the more we accomplish.
To conclude
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
, even though there are ample opportunities to learn a new
language
 by grown-ups.
However
, with their ,age they cannot compete with youngsters
due to
 the faster capability of their brains.
Therefore
, he/she can adapt faster.
Submitted by ephrinzalvin on

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt but lacks clear and comprehensive development of ideas. The example provided is not fully relevant to the point.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is somewhat clear, but the essay lacks a strong introduction and conclusion. The main points are only moderately supported, leading to some coherence issues.
lexical resource
Lexical Resource: The vocabulary shows some range, but there are instances of inaccurate word choices and awkward phrasings. More precise and varied vocabulary can be used to enhance clarity.
grammatical range
Grammatical Range: The essay displays a mix of complex and simple structures, but there are issues with sentence structure and word choice. Pay attention to the use of grammar to improve accuracy and coherence.

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