The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to control violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this action?

It's sometimes argued that the exposure to a large number of

violence

Use synonyms

in media like films and tv shows

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

supposed to be limited by the government in order to reduce the violent

crimes

Use synonyms

in society . As for me, I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

point. On the one hand,manipulating videos and tv programs which contain violent imagery is an efficient

way

Use synonyms

to prevent youngsters from stimulating. Because their word view hasn't been formed

competely

Correct your spelling

completely

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they are more easily to be affected by media. They may recognize

violence

Use synonyms

as an acceptable

way

Use synonyms

of playing so they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

intend to stimulate .

For example

Linking Words

, many pupils are been on watching "the pleasant and grey wolf " which involves stabbing ,

punching

Correct word choice

and punching

show examples

and

then

Linking Words

they imitate

to hurt

Change the verb form

hurting

show examples

others. But acting in

this

Linking Words

way

Use synonyms

usually

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

serious Consequence .

Therefore

Linking Words

, decreasing

Replace the word

violent

show examples

violence

Use synonyms

images is an important

way

Use synonyms

to avoid situations that

mimicing

Correct your spelling

mimicking

. On the

Correct your spelling

other

othe

Correct your spelling

other

hand, It

also

Linking Words

can help

Add an article

the authority

show examples

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

prevent adults from committing

crimes

Use synonyms

, especially

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

someone who has

mental

Add an article

a mental

show examples

problem.

Linking Words

This kind

Fix the agreement mistake

These kinds

show examples

of people usually

lack

Change the verb form

lacks

show examples

empathy. Watching

gun fight

Correct your spelling

gunfight

show examples

shows may inspire them to Commit

crimes

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, The Joker is so weird and quite popular that many

crimes

Use synonyms

have been associated with it.

Thus

Linking Words

, controlling

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the government is

Change the article

show examples

necessary method to impair

this

Linking Words

type of

Use synonyms

crimes

Fix the agreement mistake

crime

show examples

. In conclusion, Watching TV shows and firms related to

violence

Use synonyms

will put a negative effect on people's

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

. The government has

responsibilities

Fix the agreement mistake

responsibility

show examples

to restrict them so as to decrease

crimes

Use synonyms

元气少女鲁智深

Aug 11, 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

proliferation
normalize
desensitize
propensity
vulnerable populations
impressionable
emulate
stifles
creative freedom
censorship
slippery slope
media literacy
conclusively proven
socioeconomic conditions
mental health services
age ratings
content warnings
artistic freedom
informed choices

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is beer in the countryside. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Some individuals argue that living in cities is beneficial , while others believe that a rural district is convenient. Although bush operations provide a healthy environment and a sense of community, I opine that educational facilities and more job opportunities for a better society.
7
band
Some people choose to have their first child at an older age. What are the reasons? Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?
There is a growing proportion of the world population with a propensity to delay the birth of their firstborn. While the factors of emotional maturity and financial stability of parents impact this decision, it is also evident that the benefits of this choice overrule the negative consequences.
6.5
band
Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.
Parents throughout the world place spend time reading with their offspring to prepare them for school where their literacy skills are further developed; however, recent research suggests that focusing on reading at an early age can be detrimental, and participating in fun activities would be far more beneficial. I am a strong advocate of this approach, and the benefits of it will be covered in this essay.
7
band
Employers should not be concerned about the way their employees dress at work. They should only care about the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is undeniable that in the era of humanities, more and more managers are not interested in dressing employees' jobs. While they are only concerned with the quality of performance. From this perspective, both sides play essential roles in their work lives because the two conditions have an efficient vision. Ergo, this essay will highlight the reasons and benefits of both arguments, and I also mention my viewpoint in the following paragraphs, by providing relevant examples and insights.
7
band
Many things that use to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages?
A lot of things that years ago were done manually are now done by some machinery. In my opinion, I believe it has more advantages than disadvantages because of the accuracy that can be achieved by a machine.

The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to control violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this action?

It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is beer in the countryside. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people choose to have their first child at an older age. What are the reasons? Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

Employers should not be concerned about the way their employees dress at work. They should only care about the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many things that use to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages?