The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to control violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this action?

It's sometimes argued that the exposure to a large number of
violence
in media like films and tv shows
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
supposed to be limited by the government in order to reduce the violent
crimes
in society . As for me, I totally agree with
this
point. On the one hand,manipulating videos and tv programs which contain violent imagery is an efficient
way
to prevent youngsters from stimulating. Because their word view hasn't been formed
competely
Correct your spelling
completely
,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they are more easily to be affected by media. They may recognize
violence
as an acceptable
way
of playing so they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
intend to stimulate .
For example
, many pupils are been on watching "the pleasant and grey wolf " which involves stabbing ,
punching
Correct word choice
and punching
show examples
and
then
they imitate
to hurt
Change the verb form
hurting
show examples
others. But acting in
this
way
usually
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
serious Consequence .
Therefore
, decreasing
Replace the word
violent
show examples
violence
images is an important
way
to avoid situations that
mimicing
Correct your spelling
mimicking
. On the
Correct your spelling
other
othe
Correct your spelling
other
hand, It
also
can help
Add an article
the authority
show examples
authority
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authorities
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
prevent adults from committing
crimes
, especially
for
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apply
show examples
someone who has
mental
Add an article
a mental
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problem.
This kind
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These kinds
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of people usually
lack
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lacks
show examples
empathy. Watching
gun fight
Correct your spelling
gunfight
show examples
shows may inspire them to Commit
crimes
.
For example
, The Joker is so weird and quite popular that many
crimes
have been associated with it.
Thus
, controlling
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the government is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
necessary method to impair
this
type of
crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
show examples
. In conclusion, Watching TV shows and firms related to
violence
will put a negative effect on people's
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. The government has
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
to restrict them so as to decrease
crimes
.
Submitted by 元气少女鲁智深 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proliferation
  • normalize
  • desensitize
  • propensity
  • vulnerable populations
  • impressionable
  • emulate
  • stifles
  • creative freedom
  • censorship
  • slippery slope
  • media literacy
  • conclusively proven
  • socioeconomic conditions
  • mental health services
  • age ratings
  • content warnings
  • artistic freedom
  • informed choices
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