IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of areas such as fashion and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?

#tendency #beings #copy #popularity #areas #fashion #consumer #goods
A plethora of historical evidence demonstrates that human beings have always been mitigating each other in various streams of their lives. A school of thought declares that
this
 trend is more obvious in areas
such
 as fashion and commodities that the population purchases. I agree with
this
 notion.
To begin
 with, throughout history, predefined standards have always been influencing folk's decisions, from what they wear to how they look.
People
 have always been trying to keep up with these standards in order to be fitted into the world. To exemplify, these days wearing make-up has become rife among women. If a girl does not put on make-up, she may be considered sick or depressed due to her pale face.
Thus
,
such
 standards lead to a society where individuals are mimicking each other inevitably, pinning their hopes to be accepted by their community and not being left out.
In addition
, human beings usually choose celebrities as their role models in their lives and follow their rules blindly. Even though
such
 successful
people
 have achieved accomplishments in their careers, ordinary
people
 may get inspired from whatever they do, in all aspects of life, pining their hopes to flourish just as they did. Advertisements on media showcase
this
 fact. As an example, business owners invite celebrities to publicize their consumables. Their motivation behind
this
 is that they are aware of how decisive celebrities are in ordinary
people
's decisions.
Therefore
, following certain
people
 contributes to a civilization mimicking each other. To sum up,
people
 copy each other not only to get accepted and not be humiliated in society but
also
 to become successful in life, just as their role models did.
Submitted by taravatpart1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: